


A Broken Promise

by Radagasttheblonde, Reneeyanceywriter



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Gen, Light Angst, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:48:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 29,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radagasttheblonde/pseuds/Radagasttheblonde, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reneeyanceywriter/pseuds/Reneeyanceywriter
Summary: Claire breaks the promise she made to Jamie on the eve of Culloden, comes back through the stones, and heads to Lallybroch.





	1. A Broken Promise

She feels a nausea and a grief to deep for words. Lost! All lost bare the child she holds in her womb. She places her hands protectivly over it as she stumbles to her feet. 

It takes her a moment to realize she can still hear the stones call. Was it a sign? She had made a promise to head to Frank, to keep the little one safe. But, what would be safer, going to Frank( who will think her insane) or back to Lallybroch and family? She didn't think long. "I am so sorry Jamie." She says as she steps back up and through.

The violence of the stones quickly take her back over. When she comes to, she hears the noise of battle. She quickly slips down back to the shed where Jamie and her had spent the last night together. She swallows her sobs until she reaches the sanctuary of the shed. She then falls apart.

"Lord, please let him go easy." She prays as she curles up where she can still smell him, feel him. She knows from Frank the battle is quick. She curles around their child and cries herself to sleep.

When she wakes it is eerily quiet. She knows that the battle is over and that he is gone. They are gone. The clans. The whole Highlander way of life. 

"Oh Jamie, my love!" She cries as she forces herself to get up and begin to move. She must get her and the child to safety. Despite her paralyzing grief, she forces herself to move away from the shed, the stones, the horrible battlefield and, into the woods.

She keep to the deepst parts of the woods. She keep one protective hand over her stomach as she moves the folige out of the way. She is blinded by her tears as she stumbles toward the direction of home. The only home that remains.

"This home is lost." Jamie had said before he kissed her and took her one more time.

"Not quite Jamie. If your son or daughter is raised at Lallybroch, amoung family, part of home will remain." She travels until the sun starts to set. She knows she must find a place to sleep.

She curles under a fallen log, placing some branches in front of her as camouflage. "Keep watch over us Jamie." She whispers before she drifts off.

Luck, and the protection of her guardian angels, is with her. She wakes without having beem molested by man nor beast. She gets up and starts walking again. Halfway through the day, she sees a riderless horse. It looks like Donas.

She quickly approachs it with her heart in her throat. Fergus was sent on Donas to bring the deed of session to Ian. To see Lallybroch safely in wee Jamie's name. Has she lost her husband and son? A deep sob escapes her as she reaches Donas( for Donas it is). Donas neighs sensing his mistresses grief and the loss of his master.

"Mi'lady?" She jerks at the sound of Fergus' voice. He runs into her arms. She holds him tight. "Mi'lord?" He asks.

She simply shakes her head. "We must get to Lallybroch." He nods and helps her mount up and they start off.


	2. La Dame Blanche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the length between updates. Was finishing a few others. But, my awesome co-author has several outlines done. We will be updating more frequently. Thanks for your patience.

We wrote like the hounds of hell were after us. In a way, they are. The sounds of Culloden still echo in my ears and probably always will. I don't know how much Fergus had heard but, I wanted him far away too. Far from the battle that took his Mi'lord, his papa.

We rode until we couldn't see, until Donas was lathering and breathless under us. "We need to find shelter but, we can't start a fire. We can't risk the patroling English seeing it." I explain," cuddle against me tonight. We should make Lallybroch before dark tomorrow."

He nods. I hand him a bit of stale bread and jerky. Neither of us had been eating right. I pray that we find better supplies at Lallybroch. I place my hand over where the baby lays. 'please God. Please Jamie. Keep the baby safe.' I silently pray. Fergus curles against me. His solid warmth is a comfort. 

I lay sleepless, my thoughts going a thousand miles an hour. I am debating telling Fergus the truth about me. I need to tell someone. Losing Jamie and Murtagh( and God the thought send my broken heart tearing through me), the only ones who knew. Who understood. Well, it made me want to share with someone. Fergus, our adopted son, seems a good choice.

"Are ye fine, Mi'lady?" He asks sometime in the deep of the night. "Je' need your rest too."

"I know I do. I was thinking. I wish to tell you something."

I take a deep breath and another. "Do you recall in Paris that I was referred to as La dame blanche?"

"Oui'."

"Well, I am no witch. No white lady. But, I am not from here. Not just Scotland but this time. I was or will be born 200 years from now. I came through the stones at Craig nu Dun." I realize that Fergus is unnaturally still in the darkness. "You think me a witch or mad?" He doesn't answer for a moment and my heart drops. Will I lose my son then too? "Fergus?"

"That is it. I always knew there was something. Your ability at Hospital. Your treatment of the soldiers. I knew there was something extrudinary about je' but, well it wasn't my place to inquire."

"You believe me?"

"Oui' Mi'Lady. I believe je'.

"Thank God. We must do all we can to prepare Lallybroch. The English will win. It is the verdict of history. It is why we were doing all we could to stop the uprising. Now, all we can do is prepare those we love to survive."

"Tell me what will happen." So, I do all through the rest of that night and on the frantic ride the next day. I told him of the forbid of tarten, the loss of the Gaelic, the end of the clans. He rode in front of me with tears dripping on my hands. 

We finally made it to broch Mora. We could see Lallybroch in front of us. We watered Donas and ate a bit ourselves( though neither of us were hungry) and hurried towards home. 

We ride under the arch and Jenny comes running out of the house. I see Ian look out the window. Jenny runs, skirts held up, as Fergus and I dismount. She looks around for her brother and I feel my heart break anew.

"Jamie."

"He is gone," I say before the grief, exhaustion, and fear, as well as the pregnancy hormones, overwhelm me. I bend over and am sick. I stand and add," But a part of him is still here." My hand cradles my abdomen. She nods, her eyes a film of tears.

"Let's get ye two feed, then." She calls for Rabbie to handle Donas. Fergus hesitates.

"Come. Mi'Lord would wish you to be around family." I lead my son inside.


	3. Grieving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jenny grief Jamie's passing. Will a surprise patient change everything?

As we enter the comfort of Lallybroch, Mrs. Crook comes running out. She starts to say something to me but Jenny quickly shakes her head. "Ian," she calls out for her husband," please see Fergus settled. I've Claire. Mrs Crook, some fresh bannocks and a bit of broth please."

"Right away." She bops a curtsy and hurries back into the kitchen. Jenny leads me upstairs to the laird's bedchamber. I see Ian directing Fergus into another room.

"Let's get ye down to your shift. I will have Mrs. Crook see to your dress." She is all business, holding it together by that tough Fraser will.

"I must tell you. He wanted to send me away. Somewhere safe. Me and the baby. He knows the cause is lost. But, I couldn't. I just couldn't not be around the only family I have left. I need to be here. Jamie's child needs raised here."

"Aye, ye do. The bairn does. Ye need to be with family. Ye, the bairn, and Fergus. Ye will be safe here. Rest now Claire. I am here. Ye can lay yer head." I do. I lay my head in her skirts and weep until I have no tears left. I weep for my husband, for the brave and noble men he fought beside, for our child that will not know him, for the clans and the highland way of life lost on that bloody field. She strokes my hair and whispers Gailec over me. I finally cry myself to sleep.

It is wee Jamie that wakes me the next morning. I reach across the bed before recalling. My gasp of grief has wee Jamie walking fully in. "Are ye alright Auntie Claire?"

"No. I miss yer Uncle Jamie."

"Aye. Mam says he is with the angels." The memory of our lost daughter, stabs, and I cry out again. 

"Yes he is." I don't mean to cry in front of him. He is but a boy. But, the grief is to raw and immediate to hold back. He pats my back as I cry, once again. When I can finally stop, he offers me his handkerchief and his hand. He escorts me down to the kitchen.

"That is a good lad. Go find Fergus now." He nods and runs off to do it. She then turns to me. "Sae ye ken Jamie is.?"

"He told me he meant to die on the battlefield." I say through the lump that feels a permanent part of my throat. 

"Aye. If James Fraser said it.." She looks at me and I see tears glistening in her eyes. It is my turn to hold her as our tears combine. When she has weeped, she stands and whipes her face. "Let's get ye feed. He would never forgive me if I let ye and his bairn starve."

"Thank you. Fergus doesn't know yet, about the baby. I don't want him worried."

"Aye. It will stay between us for awhile then." I force myself to eat porridge and some bannocks for the baby.

"I need something to do." I announce after I am done.

"Aye. There are some herbs drying in the shed. Ye can see to them." I head that direction. 

It is nice to be around the earthy smell and feel of plants again. I am quickly enveloped in separating the dried from the undried and, by there uses. I am interrupted by a frantic Mrs Crook.

"A wagon approaches Mistress with a man in need of yer healing." I run towards the lane.

His red hair makes my heart pound for a second. But, it can't be Jamie, I tell myself. The wagon comes to a stop and I climb in.

"Och, I am dead then for ye are here." Declares my very alive but badly injured husband.

"Not yet, you bloody Scot. You won't be dying on me a second time."


	4. Fever Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire treats Jamie, who believes her a dream. She and Fergus have a sweet conversation.

After I recover from the shock of seeing my husband alive, I arrange to have him gently lifted off the wagon. I see the end of a gash at the bottom of his kilt. I need to see how bad it is but not here, in the open. 

Rabbie, Fergus and I get him moved into the house and laid in front of the hearth where the light and heat from the fire will help with his examination.

"Jenny, I need boiling water, as much rags as you can gather, and more light. Darkness is fast approaching and I will need to see." She nods and hurries off to inform Mrs Crook of my needs. I take a deep breath and gently lift the edge of his kilt.

It takes my breath. The wound is ghastly. Extending from right under his groin to the top of his knee. It has mainly crusted over but still oozes blood in some spots. I see the signs of coming infection, the redness that spreads out. The heat coming from it. The fever I feel elsewhere. 

Jenny returns followed by Mrs Crook carrying the requested supplies. I thank them as they both stare at the twisting wound. 

"Will he loss his leg then Claire?" Ian asks. 

"No, nor his life. Mrs Crook, I need some honey and some honey water, please." She looks at me in confusion. "Trust me. It will help him."

"Aye Mistress. I will say a prayer too."

"Thank you Mrs Crook." She nods and hurries back to the kitchen. "Alright. Fergus, can you handle staying. I have need of you, Jenny, and Ian."

"Oui' Mi'lady."

"Where do ye need us Claire?" Jenny asks.

"Fergus, sit on his chest and try to hold him still. Jenny and Ian, please hold his other leg and arms down. Hold tight! I am going to have to hurt him to heal him." They nod and take positions. "Ready. He is going to scream." I warn them.

"Aye. Aye. Oui'."

"Alright them." I say a prayer of my own before picking up the bucket of steaming water and pouring it over his wound.

Jamie comes fully alive. It takes all we have to hold him still and he bucks, withers, and screams out Ghaildhig curses. I clean the blood and puss that erupts from the reopened wound. I then do it again. I use all the water and rags. I know I have released a lot of the infection. I fear I didn't get it all. 

"Jenny," she is still and in shock. I have to call her name several times before she responds. "I haven't my kit with me. I need a needle and thread to close his leg." She nods and gets up to get it.

I sterilize the needle with a candle and the thread with some whiskey before starting to sew. Jamie was almost unconcious again and only mumbles as I close the wound. When I am done, I take the honey and spread it over the stitches. It is the best antiseptic avaliable. Again, I say a prayer that it is enough. When I am done, I send Jenny and Ian off to rest.

"He may need you through the night, so rest while you can." I then ask Fergus," Do you want to go off to bed or stay here with Jamie and I?"

"I which to stay with you and Mi'lord."

"Good. Get some rest on the sofa. I will wake you when needed." He does. I lay beside him, just watching the miracle that is my breathing husband. After a few minutes, he stirs. I place my hand on his chest, to keep him still. I notice that he is still a bit feverish.

"Claire, is that ye?"

"Yes Jamie, I am here."

"Ye can't be. I sent ye away." His feverish eyes seek mine.

"I broke my promise. I couldn't leave Fergus, Ian, or Jenny." He sighs and mumbles something that sounds like' dead'. "No, nor will you." I lay my head on his hot chest, over his beating heart. The sound sooths me and I sleep.

The sound of footsteps wake me sometime in the dead of the night. I look up to see Ian.

"Sorry. Dinna mean to wake ye. Just checking on him."

"It is alright. He is holding on but doesn't believe me real." I sit up and check on the wound. It is holding, so far and he is no warmer.

Ian chuckles. "That is the fever. I recall, before I lost my leg, seeing all types of things, in my dreams."

"Like what?"

He takes a seat on the couches edge, careful.not to disturb Fergus. "Och, my family, old childhood friends, Jenny. Some were real, some memories."

"Well, Jamie will not be happy when he realizes I am real. He really wanted me safe."

"He will forgive ye Claire. He loves ye to much not to want ye around." He stands, squeezes my shoulder and heads back upstairs. 

The next time I wake , Fergus is awake, also. I ask him to keep an eye on Jamie and go to fetch porridge for Fergus and myself and honey water for Jamie.

He is coming back to conscious, a bit. I lift his head and get some of the honey water down him. I then try to eat a bit of the porridge. I know the baby needs it, but the morning sickness and fear for Jamie makes eating hard.

"Claire , ye canna be here. I sent ye away to keep the bairn safe." He mummors out of the depths of his fever.

"I am hear you stubborn Scot. Drink a bit more." I get a few more swallows down before he drifts off again.

"Bairn. Are you with child, Mi'lady?"

"I am."

"That is why Mi'lord was trying to send you away?"

"It was," and a flash of guilt goes through me. Should I have went? No, what would have became of Jamie if I had?" But, I couldn't leave you. I know that Jenny and Ian would have taken care of you but, you are my son, our son. The baby needs it's big brother."

"Big brother. I never thought I would be such or a son." His eyes shine with tears. I pull him close.

"Well, you are. I pray nothing happens this time. Either way, I am glad to be here with my son and husband." I say through my own tears." We hold each other and watch Jamie sleep.


	5. Infection!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An infection developes and Jamie starts to realize that Claire is real.

A/N A bit medical explicit so if you are squeamish..

 

Claire and Fergus slept for a few hours before the sound of Jamie yelling out,"Claire!" woke me with a start. I was immediately by his side.

"I'm here." I sooth placing my hand on his chest to comfort and check his temperature. I see his eyes turn from fear to anger as he sees that I am real.

"I sent ye away."

"You did and I went. I went but, I came back. I had to come back." He glares at me. I bend down and whisper in his ear, "Do you think I could look at Frank and not see Black Jack?" That quiets him to mere mumbles. I check his wound. It looks no worse and he is warm but not hot. I kiss his forehead, task Fergus with watching him, and head towards the kitchen after telling my stubborn Scot," Fergus knows."

I find Jenny at work in the kitchen.

"How is he, then?"

"Bloody stubborn. Angry at me for being here. But, no worse physically." She chuckles.

"That would be my brother. He will get over it."

"Yes, he will have to as I am going nowhere. Do you need help?"

"Nae, but thank ye. Mrs Crook and I have it. Ye may fininish the herbs if te need a break from my stubborn brother." I smile, give her a hug, and head out to the drying shed. I stop on the way out and tell Fergus where I will be.

The shed offers the peace I need. I know be is only angry out of fear for the baby and I. I know he will get over it. But, his anger is taken energy he needs to heal. I sigh as I crush some willow bark up fine for tea. It will help with Jamie's pain and fever. It seems a good thing when Fergus flies breathlessly in.

"It is Mi'lord. He is thrashing about. I think he needs you Mi'lady." I hurry after him, with the the willowbark in one hand.

I find Jamie, thrashing about as Fergus said. I drop the willowbark on a table and kneel by him. I touch his forehead and flinch. He is burning hot. I look at the wound. It is swollen and red, red streaks lead from the orginal wound. I am going to have to reopen( and God be with us all) and clean out the infection. I take several deep breathes.

"Mi'lady?"

"You were right to fetch me. I need Jenny and Ian." He rushes off to get them. "Jamie, I know you hurt. I am here. You are not alone. I am going to help." But, it is going to hurt him bad. The willowbark will help some. Jenny and Ian hurry in.

"A' Dhai!" Jenny calls out seeing her brother. Ian crosses himself.

"I know. I need some thing. First a bucket of the coldest water you can get and more rags, some boiling water, a sharp knife, whiskey and a cup to serve it and the willowbark tea in, and more honey." Jenny nods briskly and hurries toward the kitchen calling for Mrs Crook and Rabbie.

"What are ye gonna do Claire?" Ian asks.

"I need to break the stitches. I need to get the in..the sickness out. Some must still be deep in the wound." He nods.

"How can I help?" He had taken a seat on the floor beside his brother-in -law's head and placed his hand on Jamie's feverish shoulder.

"Do you have a strong wame?"

"Aye Claire. I ken it will be ghastly what ye must do."

"It will. I intend to get him drunk, as a method of pain relief along with the willowbark. Even so, he will have to be held tightly down."

"I understand." Jenny, Fergus, Mrs Crook, and Rabbie, enter. Rabbie carries a bucket of cold water,' From the mill pond, Mistress.' He sits it down and backs away at the sight of his Laird. Mrs Crook carries the hot water. She deposits it and crosses herself. Jenny carries the rags, honey, and cups. Fergus the whiskey and knife. I dismiss Rabbie and Mrs Crook. I inform the others of what I had told Ian.

"First, we need to try to cool him. Jenny, the willowbark is over there," I point to the table," please make up a tea." She hurries to do it. I wet the rags in the icy water. I place them on his forehead, belly, groin, and feet. He groans, pulled out of his semi-conscious state. Jenny brings over the tea. He grimaces and turns away at the taste.

"You drink it, you can have some whiskey." The bribe works and he obediently swallows. We follow it with a couple cups of whiskey. He is soon dowsing again. I know it is only a temporarily reprieve. I am going to have to hurt to heal. I give him a gentle kiss.

"I love you and do this to help." I tell him. I can't even wait until the willowbark takes full effect for the infection is spreading fast. I assign my helpers positions to hold him down.

"Hold tight!" I instruct. I sterilize the knife with the boiling water and whiskey, say a prayer, and lower the blade to his furious wound.

He screams with the first touch. I bite my lip and continue, slicing through the stitches and the beginning scabs. Pus bubbles up. I take a rag, dipped in the hot water and wipe it away. I know I have to go deeper. I lay the knife aside and open the wound with my hand. With another clean rag, I wipe out the entire inside of his wound. His screams have become whimpers and I dare not look in his eyes lest I am lost. I know that I am doing best for him. That if I don't get the infection out he will loss his leg if not his life. This knowledge doesn't make it easier to dig into his angry, extraordinary tender flesh, to pull all the pus and please God, the rest of the infection, out. I disolve some of the willowbark into the water and use it to rinse out his open wound when I am done.

I am shaking when done. We all are. I need to sew him back up but losely so the wound can drain. I take a few deep breathes and Ian offers my some of the whiskey.

"Thank you but not until I am done. You may give Jamie more." He eagerly takes it. I then re-sew his wound again. I slather it with honey, offer him more whiskey cut with a bit more willowbark. 

"Jenny, promise ye will take care of Claire and our child when I die." The feverish, drunk Jamie requests.

"Ye will be taken care of them yerself. We willna be grieving ye a second time, brother. Claire and I are too stubborn to let ye die."

"As are Fergus and myself. Sorry Jamie, ye are going no where." Ian adds. He groans and mummors something in Gaelic before drifting back off.


	6. Recovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie starts to recover. He and Claire talk.

"Up to bed with ye. Ye canna take care of him and the bairn if ye are asleep on yer feet. I can watch him and will send for ye if needed." Jenny says an hour or so later. He is resting in an alcohol and fever haze. There is no sign of returning infection. With some reluctance, I head upstairs. I take off my shoes, not bothering to undress farther. I am soon asleep. It isn't peaceful though.

I dream of Culloden. Of flashing swords, wounded and dead Scots and Redcoats. Of misery we were unable to stop. I know the battle was vicious, from both history and Jamie's wound. From the blood that covered him when he arrived, half dead in the wagon.

I wake, with a start, at Fergus' entrance. My heart is thumping, fear floods my bloodstream and fills my mouth with bitter saliva. "Jamie!'

"No fear Mi'lady. Mi'lord is still in repose. Mistress Murray says he is the same. I have brought you breakfast." He holds out a bowl of porridge. "You must eat for the bebe'."

My hand drifts to my abdomen. "Thank you Fergus. That was quite thoughtful." I eat quickly, knowing that Jenny needs rest too. When finished, we head straight downstairs.

"He is still cool. The wound has nae red streaks." Jenny reports when we enter.

"Thank you Jenny. Go get some rest. I will let you know if there are any changes." She nods and stands with a groan. She hugs me tight before heading upstairs. I take her place.

I place my hand on his forehead. As Jenny reported, it is cool and dry. Next, I check his wound. No redness, no heat, a bit of drainage, as expected. I clean it. As I sit back up, I feel his hand on my back.

"Claire?"

"Jamie, how do you feel?"

"Alive. Thanks to ye. I thought I was surely dead."

"Neither Jenny nor I would allow that." I smile at him and offer a bit of the honey water( a poor replacement for saline but, all I have). He sips some. I urge a bit more. I then take his hand and place it on my stomach. "You will be here for this one and whoever else we are gifted with. Rest now, my love." He drifts back off with a smile on his face. I smile too. I sit and just watch him breath before heading to the kitchen to see if there is anything I can do.

Mrs Crook sets to kneeding bread, something I can do and leave in a hurry should Jamie need me. She asks after him.

"He is doing well for now. We got the sickness out of his leg. Now to keep it away."

"I will keep praying."

"Thank you." This is when Fergus comes in.

"Mi'lord is asking for you." I drop the bread and hurry after him.

"Jamie?" I feel down beside him and took his hand, relived that it is still cool and his eyes no longer had the shine of fever.

"I am glad you broke your promise. Even though it will be hard for ye and the bairn."

"The bairn needs his father."

"Aye, even a scarred one. Do I wish to see it?"

"No, I wouldn't advise it yet. It is still ghastly."

He shakes his head. "But ye are alright with them?"

"I am alright with your back. It has never bothered me. Why would that. You can't scare me away, James Fraser. Every scar makes you who you are. I am happy for them. They show you lived." I rest my head on his chest over the reasuring sound of his beating heart. He wraps his arms around me.

"I am sae glad you are here with me." He admits as he drifts back off. I do too, lulled by his strong heart. I dream of a red haired toddler running around the yard. Chased by my ginger husband. I wake with a smile when Fergus calls me to dinner.


	7. To Hell and Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire has a nightmare and is reasured by her sister-in-law and husband. A recovering Jamie is moved upstairs but, will he tell his family what happened on that bloody battlefield?

After dinner, I find Jamie awake. I decided to try to get some real food down him. I ask Mrs Crook for some watered down porridge. Rabbie and Fergus hold him up while he mananges to get half a bowl down before drifting back off. 

"If he stays awake tomorrow morning, I want to try to get him upstairs." I inform our gathered family. "He will sleep better and may tell us what happened. Not about the battle maybe but, how he escaped."

"It is a fine idea. I want you and Fergus to sleep in your beds tonight. I will keep watch." Ian says. I can't argue with him knowing my son and the new baby, as well as I, need a good night sleep. I sit with Jamie until it gets dark and then head upstairs to our bed.

Unfortunately, the good rest I was hoping for didn't happen. Nightmares plagued my dreams. I was at Wentworth prison watching, helpless to turn away or even close my eyes, as Jamie was hung.

I woke covered in sweat, shaken, breathless, with my heart pounding. I am nauseous and in desperate need of fresh air. I jump up and run downstairs and out the door. I take big gulps of fresh air that manages to settle my stomach and keep me from vomiting. I sink unto the porch and stare into the vastness of the night sky.

I jump at the touch of a hand on my shoulder. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to frighten ye." Ian says. He gets a good look at my face in the light of the candle he holds. "Stay there. I wil be right back." 

The next hand that touches me is Jenny's. She drops down beside me and pulls me into her arms without a word. I collapse against her and weep. She rocks me like one of her bairns and sooths me with Gaelic.

"What is amiss then?" She asks when my tears have been reduced to hiccups. I tell her about the nightmare.

"I was guilty, you see, guilty of not fleeing to safety with our child."

"Nae, mo phiuthar, ye mustn't feel guilty for coming to us. For coming back to family. If, Jamie hadn't survived, his soul would have rested at peace knowing ye and the bairn are here." I nod against her shoulder. "Now come. Back to bed with ye."

"No, I need to be with Jamie. Send Ian back up with you." She nods and kisses my cheek before heading in to get Ian. I join my husband. I rest my head over his strong heart and sleep the night away, dreamless.

I wake the next morning to the sound of birds and the feel of Jamie' hand stroking my hair. I look up and meet his smile.

"If you can stay awake this morning, I am going to try to get you upstairs."

"Verra good. I am hungry Sassanech. Is there anything to eat?" I smile broadly at him, kiss his chest, over his heart, and hurry into the kitchen.

"Is there porridge ready? Jamie is hungry." Mrs Crook laughs joyously.

"The Laird is getting better then if his appetite is returning. Aye," she gives me a whole bowl and I head back out. I stop at the sight of Fergus.

He is hugging Jamie tight. "You are well then Mi'lord?"

"Aye. Better." I don't mean to disturb them but must have made a noise at Jamie's declaration. They look up and Fergus stands.

"Go get some breakfast." I tell him before bringing Jamie his. He takes from me with a smile. He starts to eat

Jenny and Ian come in. Jamie looks up at them. We both notice the sheen of tears in her eyes. "Ye live then brother?"

"Aye, it seems I dinna have a choice in that." Ian chuckles.

"Nae, Claire and I are way to stubburn to let that happen." I laugh them.

"Dinna laugh at me. I was feverish."

"Yes, you were. And you don't think we wouldn't have followed you into hell itself. I have done it before James Fraser and I will do it again. Will go to hell and back to see you safe."

"Aye, and it is thankful I am, mo nighean donn."

"If you stay awake through lunch, we will get you upstairs, if that is alright?"

"Verra. I want a chance to properly cuddle my wife, in a bed."

He is awake after lunch and Jenny gathers everyone together. We know it won't be easy but, it is what Jamie and I want and need. I check his wound one final time before we get him on his feet. It is warm but not hot. There is no redness or drainage. It is safe to move him.

I get on one side, Fergus on the other. Jenny, Ian, and Rabbie are behind him. "On three." I say in my best charge nurse voice," one, two, three." We get him up on his good leg. His shirt raises enough for him to get his first good look at his leg.

"Iffrin, Black Jack." He mummors. I don't ask him what he means. Not then. The proccess is slow. One hopping step followed by a rest then another.

When we get to the steps, we all take a deep breath before starting up them. We lift most of his weight as we move him slowly up. He breathes heavy and grumbles the occasion Gaelic curse. We finally get him to the Laird's bedchamber. We lower his shaken body down on the bed. I dose him with a large dose of willowbark tea and then we lower him down. His sigh of relief makes every faltering step.worth it.

"Thank ye family. Can ye leave Claire and I alone now." He requests. They leave the room and he invites me to join him.

I lay down, placing my head on it's accustomed place over his heart. "How do you feel?"

"My leg aches something aweful but happy to be in a bed."

"Well, you do have a wound from right under your bollocks down to your knee."

"Aye, the bastard truly did try to cut my bollocks off." He mummors.

"Wot?" I start to sit up but he pushes me back down.

"Time enough to tell ye. Right now, I just wish to rest with my wife and bairn." He touchs where our child lays," This child will live but, I will ne' forget Faith."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N mo phiuthar: my sister. Mo nighean donn: my brown haired lass.


	8. Past, Present, and Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five months later, a 8 months pregnant has concerns about the birth, Jamie still dreams of Culloden. They find comfort in each others arms. A surprise person shows up.

Five Months Later

At eight months pregnant, Claire is both miserable and terrified. All she recalls of birth is the horror of Faith's stillbirth and the time after where she almost died. The visits every few months from the Redcoats didn't help.

They are searching for an Alexander MacKenzie. No matter how many times Jenny and Ian told them," There are no Mackenzie's here. Just Frasers and Murray's." they still keep coming. The last time was two months previous. Jenny and her had presented them with a gift of potatoes and they had left them in peace, so far.

She laid in bed beside her husband and he stroked her belly. She softly says,"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Talk about what Sassanech?"

"I haven't asked. Have wanted to but was waiting on you. But, the nightmares are getting worse. Maybe talking about it wll help. It did in the past."

He sighs and draws her closer to his side. "I worry over Murtagh. I saw him last on that bloody field. He fought beside me then I lost him. In the chaos of battle, I lost him." His voice broke and she holds him closer. He is quiet for a moment, collecting himself to continue. "The next person I see clearly is Black Jack." His wife gasps. "Aye. It seemed to be just him and I there, even though we were surronded by fighting man. It has always been personal for us, ye ken. Sae, we charged each other. I hit his arm. He hit my leg, as ye ken. He was going for my bollocks. Payment for me almost gelding him in France, I assume. Though I owed him so much more." He stops and strokes his unborn child," for Fergus, for what he did to him. For Faith, for ye. I came back up and managed to hit his chest. We fell together. It seemed fitting somehow. I thought I was dead. I knew he was. 

The next thing I recall is a clansman dragging me away. We took refuge in an old shack. What was left of the Jacobite rebellion. Battered, bruised, the lads who couldn't run. We just set there awaiting our fate. I had accepted death. Was just upset at the delay. Didn't help as I watched clansman after clansman lead out to be shot. A noble death the English offered their defeated foes. Twas one mercy. Finally I was the only one left. A Captain Melton asks my name. I dinna give him my real name, not sure why. Maybe it was the last thing I had of myself. He looked down on me and shook his head.

"I am sick of death," he said to his officers," sick of killing. Send the poor bloke back to his people. He won't survive the journey but we won't be responsible for his pasding." 

I was lifted on to the wagon. Doozed off and on until I fully awoke to your face. I thought I was dead. Ye ken the rest." 

"God bless Captain Melton."

"Aye. Can bless him now. Was just angry at the time. I had lost everything, sae I thought."

She draws him to herself after taken off her gown. "I am right here Jamie." She places his hand on her breast. He groans deep and low as he fills his hand with her. She has grown so much, blooming in the last stages of her pregnancy. He thumbed her nipple and her head fell back as her groans fill the room. They become sqeaks as he draws her into his mouth. He wants her so much. He kens she thinks herself not attractive anymore but he finds her more attractive then he did on their wedding day when he was mad with lust. His hand drifts between her legs. She has grown there too. He is enchanted and intrigued by every one of her body's changes. He strokes her to completion and she cries out his name as that little nub of flesh jumps under his hand. 

"Please Jamie," she reaches between him, trying to guide him in her. They must do it the back way, like the horses, due to her advanced pregnancy. He eases himself inside her and they both sigh in relief. He is gentle as he rocks in and out of her. He places one hand on her breast, the other over their bairn. The child kicks as he rocks him/ her to sleep and brings mam to pleasure again before finding his own.

The next morning, Jenny can tell there is something on Claire's mind. "Would ye like a bit of a walk?" She asks her. They head out as soon as they eat. "What is amiss then?"

"I am scared. I fear that what happened with Faith will happen again. Not only did I lose our daughter, I. almost died myself."

"Ah lass. Do ye think I will allow ye to die. I went to the edge of the abyss with Jamie and ye and I brought him back. Do ye not ken that I would do the same for my sister?"

"You won't let me die?"

"Absolutely not. Now, ready to head back?"

"Not quite yet. I am enjoying the air and want to walk a bit more." She smiles at her.

"Not to far, ye hear."

"I won't go past the arches." Jenny nods and she heads on. She walks another ten minutes or so before a sharp pain bends her over and takes her to her knees. She sits gasping when a large hand lands on her shoulder. She assumes it is Jamie until she hears his voice.

"Are ye alright miss." Says the first Scottish voice she had ever heard this side of the Stones.

"Murtagh!" She shouts in joy, the pain temporarily forgotten.

"Claire! Good Christ, it is sae good to see ye lass. What are ye doing out here alone sae far gone?"

"Catching some air."

"Weel let's get ye inside." He lifts her to her feet and she throws her arms tight around him. He hugs her back. They then walk back towards the house with Murtagh supporting her. 

Jamie was heading out to find her when he saw them coming. His wife with...Good God! Murtagh!

"Jamie lad, why are ye allowing ye wife to wonder the grounds alone in her state." He scolds.

"Murtagh, how did..?"

"Time enough for that. Claire needs a bed."


	9. The Woman of Balmain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murtagh tells his story. Jamie his. Claire tells Murtagh hers. Labor begins and a fearful Claire tells Jenny she is the Woman of Balmain. The child arrives.

We enter the house. I am supported between Jamie and Murtagh. Jenny first see Jamie.

"Sae, did ye find her brother?" Before he can answer, she sees Murtagh and me. He mouth drops wide open. I laugh.

"That was basically my reaction."

"Aye, we are all thankful and wondering about Murtagh but, now we must get Claire upstairs. She is having pains." Jamie's tone books no argument. Jenny takes Murtagh's place and they get me upstairs.

"Now, what has happened?" Jenny asks after they have me settled on the bed.

"Just a sharp pain. Bend me over." Jenny nods her head wisely.

"Any since, any loss of water?"

"No. Just the one."

"I believe yer body is just preparing for birth. Ye will rest here until the morrow. We will ken if the bairn is coming by then."

"I will rest just don't let Murtagh tell his story until I am there to hear."

"Weel, as I am anzious to ken too, why don't we bring him and Ian up here and we can all hear together?" Jamie suggests. It is a fine suggestion and he slips off to get them.

He returns with the men and whisky. I ask after wee Jamie, Maggie, and Kitty. Jenny informs me that they are with Mrs Crook.

"Three then?" Murtagh raises his bushy eyebrows.

"Aye. This one has some catching up to do." Ian teases Jamie.

"Let's get this one born first." I reply.

"Before that, tell us what took ye sae long to return to us." Jenny directs her stern glance to Murtagh.

"Aye, weel ye recall how it was?" He directs to Jamie. He nods and takes a healthy drink of the whisky. "I played dead. They weren't checking tae closely to see who was alive or passed. I lay still as they walked around checking on the dead bodies around me. By God's Providence, they assumed me the same. After they finally cleared the field, I moved at the pace of a snail, stopping with every sound, every breeze. Finally, I made it to the woods. I hid under some ground cover until late the next day. I traveled at night. Hid in the day. Worked in the various pubs to keep my body going. I dare not travel far each day. Tis why it took me sae long to get here."

"Thank Christ ye are to hard heided to die." Jamie says after he is done. The man have a dram in his honor and I pull Jenny close.

"Promise me that you will look after Jamie and the baby if something happens."

"Ye ken I will but naught will happen. I promise to see ye safely delivered." Murtagh asks Jamie for his story then.

"It is time they know." I gently say. He nods coming to sit by me. He takes my hand and starts. He tells them about Black Jack, about falling together, about the shed and the leading out, one by one, of the Jacobites, for an honorable death. About Captain Melton and his mercy. He tells Murtagh about arriving in the wagon, seeing me, thinking he was dead, and Jenny and I's refusal to let him die.

"Seems I am not the only one with a hard heid." He says when he is finished. "Thank the Saints for the stubbornness of lasses who will ne' give up."

"Nae, we won't. Now, Claire needs rest." She shoos everyone out. Jamie tries to go but I stop him. 

"Please stay." He positions himself behind me and places his hand over our child. 

"Murtagh is alive and our child is on the way." He says contentedly. I am just as content and sleep well all night.

The next morning, I venture downstairs, having had no pains all night. Jenny and Mrs Crook greet me.

"All's weel then?" 

"Yes Jenny. No pains."

"Veera good. Are ye hungry Mistress?" 

"Yes Mrs Crook. Thank you." She places a bowl of porridge in front of me. I eat it all and then Jenny instructs me to go rest, feet up, in the palor.

"Nae chores for ye today."

I gratefully accept and take a seat putting my heavy feet up on the footrest. I listen to the sounds all around me. The sounds of the children. A cry from Kitty. The men talking to the horses. The chickens. The sounds of Mrs Crook working with the maids in the kitchen. Sounds of home. I know I have made the right decision. A hand on my shoulder startles me.

"Sae sorry lass. Are ye weel then, ye and the bairn?" Murtagh asks. I smile up at him.

"Yes. We are good. It is such a blessing to see you here."

"And ye. Will ye tell me what happened?"

"Yes, please shut the doors." He does before rejoining me. I tell him about Jamie wanting to send me away for the bairn. About our desperate parting. About going through. About being still able to hear the call of the stones. About the realization that Frank was no longer my family or his time mine. About deciding ro come back through.

"I knew I had lost Jamie. I couldn't lose Lallybroch, Jenny, Ian, the bairns, Fergus, our son. If my home with Jamie was lost, this one remained. I told Fergus all. He accepted it without hitting anyone." I recalled him punching Jamie when he found out. "We made our way here and the next day Jamie arrived. Jenny and Ian don't know yet."

"Lass, they need to."

"I know. Jamie and I discussed it last night. I will tell them soon."

"Aye, I am sae happy ye are here. I will get to see ye and Jamie's bairn."

"I am too. The child will need a grandfather." 

"A grandfather.." Whatever he was about to say is intrupted by the entrance of the Redcoats. They barge in like they own the place. Murtagh jumps up with a growl. It is right at this point that I feel a gush of water. Chaos ensues. Jamie, Ian, and Jenny come rushing in, the first true pain hits, and the blasted Redcoats are still arguing. I had it!

"Will you bloody English bastards just f*ck off and leave us the hell alone!" I shout with all my strength. Stunned silence fills the room. All but Jamie look shocked. "In labor or not, if you don't leave you will not like what I say next." The quickly exit. I sigh leaning heavily against Jamie.

"I ne' ken'd ye had that in ye Claire." Jenny says.

"If they hadn't left, you would have heard worse. I need a bed. This child is coming."

They get me up to a bed. Murtagh is dispatched to ferch the midwife. Jenny runs down to get supplies. Jamie holds tight to my hand. I can tell he is terrified.

They get me up to a bed. Murtagh is dispatched to ferch the midwife. Jenny runs down to get supplies. Jamie holds tight to my hand. I can tell he is terrified.

"Come hold me Jamie." He climbs up behind me. As soon as we are spooning, I feel him relax.

"Ye get some rest while ye can." With his comforting presence, I drift off. I wake some time later to the sound of raised voices.

"Ye must leave. Tis nae place for a man." The midwife is shouting at Jamie. To his credit, he stands his ground.

"My wife wishes me here and here I will remain."

"Ye canna. Yer place is downstairs with the other lads."

I had heard enough. "His place is by my side. If you have a problem with that, you can leave. Jenny and I can do this alone. I am a healer, after all, and she has had three children. You choose." I see Jenny nod her head in agreement as she gives the midwife a Jenny sneer.

"Fine then. Let's see where you are."

Labor is aptly named. I don't recall this part of Faith's birth. Pain after pain grips me. I am so worried. How can I not?

"It is the bloody Redcoats fault that I am earlier." I grouse at one point.

"Only by two weeks. Ye will be fine as will the bairn." Jenny reassures but I see her cross herself. Jamie prays steadily beside me. The midwife checks my progress every hour or so.

"Ye are almost there Mistress." She says as the sun sets behind us.

"To tired. I can't."

"Ye must. Lean on me. Borrow my strength, my courageous Sassanech." Jamie says. I lean against him and cry out as the pains get stronger and stronger. I feel something give way.

"What was that?" I ask. Jamie looks down and turns white.

"Blood!" He whispers.

"Tis just the bloody show. Just means it is almost time to push." The midwife says.

"She is right brother. All is fine." He is reasured by his sister.

"Time to push." The midwife announces. I can't. I never knew this level of tired existed.

"I can't. I have nothing left."

"Ye can. I will help. My brave, strong Sorcha." Jamie gets behind me and helps me sit up. I push against his back. My body will not let me do anything else.

"Veera good. Just like that." Jenny and the midwife say together. I grunt and push again. And again. I feel a fierce burning.

"Red hair." Jenny informs us. I try to gunt and push past and through the burning instead of screaming. Between the pains, I get Jenny to come up. It is time to tell her in case I don't survive.

"I am the woman of Balmain." I whisper urgently as the contraction starts back up. She looks at Jamie, the shock all over her face. He just nods before helping me push again.

"It is a lassie." The midwife announces, holding up the screaming, bloody, red haired baby. Screaming! I feel tears of joy and relief flood my eyes. Jamie is equally blinded. She is cleaned up, the after birth is delivered and she is laid on my chest. My very alive daughter.

"What do ye wish her called?" Jamie says as he watches his daughter in awe.

"Brianna Ellen Faith Fraser." I announce with pride.

"Perfect."


	10. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Murray's meet Brianna. Jamie changes his first clod. Jenny and Ian learn the full truth about Claire.

I wake to the sound of my crying daughter and my breasts aching and leaking milk. Jamie juggles Brianna in his arms.

"Shhh a leanan. Let yer mam sleep."

"I am awake. Check her clod then she needs to feed. I am full to bursting." 

"Aye." He lays her down and makes a face as he changes her dirty clod. I can't help smiling. He will have to get used to it. He hands me our daughter and I position her against my breast. With a bit of trial and error, I get her latched and we both feel the relief as she starts to nurse. Jamie watches, open mouthed, as she suckles as if her very life depended on it.

"Has quite the appetite, doesn't she?"

"Like her daddy." I say with affection. I switch her to the other side and when she falls off my nipple with her mouth open, asleep, I had her back to Jamie so I can get my gown sorted 

He hands her back to me after. "I will go invite the others in, then?"

"Yes. It is time she meets the rest of her family "

The children enter first. Wee Jamie, Maggie, and Kitty, who todfles in after her big siblings. They try to climb on the bed. Their mam is there. "Careful them. Auntie Claire is sore and the bairn is fragile." They touch their cousin with awed hands. They touch her tiny toes, caress her little fingers before Jenny moves them away. "May I?" She holds out her hands and I carefully transfer my sleeping daughter. "What is her name, then?" Jamie nods to me.

"I am pleased to present Brianna Ellen Faith Fraser."

"It fits. Thank ye Claire." She moves her into Ian's arms next. They all get a turn holding her, including her big brother, Fergus and her grandfather figure, Murtagh. I see him wipe away a tear when he hands her back to Jamie.

"Now, out with ye all. I wish to talk to Claire alone." Jenny announces. Jamie tries to leave with the rest, after laying Brianna back in my arms, but, Jenny stops him. "Not you brother."

She carefully takes a seat on the side of my bed. "Now, ye said ye were the Woman of Balmain whilst in labour. Was it the truth?"

"It was and is. I am. I went through the stones. I am from the future." I look down when finished prepared for her wrath. But ahe turns on her brother.

"Who else ken's Jamie?"

"Murtagh. I told him in Paris."

"I told Fergus on the way here. I thought Jamie and Murtagh dead. I needed someone else to know."

"And ye couldn't tell me when ye came!" She demanded.

"I am sorry. I should have. But, it wasn't long before that I was tried as a witch due to the actions of a jealous, vengeful lass from Castle Leoch named Leary. I feared.." Jamie gasps and I recall he didn't know that. "I am sorry."

"Weel, I understand that, then. But, I am family. I would ne'," something hits her and she whirls on Jamie. "Ye were sending her back! To her own time!"

"Aye and her first husband and safety for her and Brianna."

"To have yer daughter raised by another man. Away from her family! Ye clod- heid! Ye dinna believe we could keep them safe?"

"It is more complex then that."

"Ohh. Ye ken. Ye ken what will happen."

"I do. I will tell you after some rest. I am sorry for not trusting you."

"I ken now." She reaches over to hug myself and Brianna tight. She glares at her brother before hugging him too. "I will send up some food." 

I drift off to sleep as Jamie cradles us both. I wake later with Jamie spooning me and my arms empty. "Where is Brianna?" I am a bit panicked.

"Dinna fash. She is in the cradle at the foot of our bed. Get some more rest." Reasured, I do. The next time I wake it is too my breast leaking and the soft, just waking, sounds of my daughter. I wake her daddy. 

"Hand her to me. She needs feed." He does. She latches on easier this time. I sigh with relief at the feel of the colostrum letting down. She eats contentedly. 

"Leary?"

"Yes. I saw her peaking around the corner as Gellis and I were lead away and she spoke out against me at the trial. Said I bewitched you away."

"She is a jealous, vengeful lass and we are well rid of her."

"Agree. Change our daughter." He takes her making funny faces at her as he changes her clod. The fact that we had almost missed this time brings bittersweet tears to my eyes.

The next morning, I awake with two urgent needs. To feed Brianna and to empty my bladder. She comes first. After she eats, I hand her to her daddy.

"I need the privy." I explain as I dress as fast as possible. I didn't realize how painful the first wee would be. I crouch over the privy and hold back a screem as I feel like I am peeing fire. I hubble back toward the house. Jenny sees me.

"First wee, was it?" She asks in sympathy. 

"Yes. Felt like fire was coming out."

"Aye. It will get better. Lot's of water helps."

"Thank you." I stop in the kitchen for a cup of water before slowly starting upstairs. My slow pace turns to a run when my daughter's cry reaches my ears.

I find her getting her clod changed. My heartbeat slows down as I approach them. "What is all this then? Daddy is not killing you." She calms under my voice. I lift her up after he is done. I decide it is time to rejoin life in the house. I clothe Brianna in a wee gown, wrap her in a blanket and Jamie helps us downstairs. We arrive for breakfast. The children see us enter and start to jump up.

"Nae! Eat first. Yer cousin or auntie is going nowhere." Again she flashes Jamie a look of disdain. After breakfast, the children greet Brianna and are then taken out by Mrs Crook.

"Sae Claire, what is our future?" Ian asks. Jamie looks at him in shock.

"Ye think I wouldn't tell my husband?" Jenny says.

"Of course. Well Ian, I can't say when you will pass or Jenny. I can tell you it is going to get bad." I rock Brianna against my chest as I continue," it is why we were trying to stop the Raising. The English will continue to punish us. They will raid Scotland for supplies. We must hide food for us while having some to offer to the raiding parties. The tartan will be banned, as will the Galiec."

"A Dhai!" Ian calls out.

"Exactly."

"We must prepare then. Do all we can." I nod and hand the baby to her Auntie Jenny before twisting Frank's ring off my finger. I let it hit the table.

"Here is a start. Sell it and use the coin to buy seeds and other supplies.

"Claire, are ye sure?" Jamie asks.

"Very. I don't need a ring from first marriage, from my past. Not when it can help my family here and now."

Ian, no dummy, picks it up. "Solid gold. We can do a lot with this. Thank ye Claire. We will buy seed for the spring and hid the rest of the money away for the coming hard times." 

"Weel, winter is close. That should slow down the Redcoat visits." Jenny says while swaying with Brianna.

"Aye." Her husband and her brother, agree.

"Weel then, we shall have a proper Hogmany celebration with Jamie and Murtagh back from the dead and a brand new niece." We all agres. "Now away men. There be chores to do." They take off and I take my daughter back to feed her.


	11. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month after Bree's birth, the house prepares for Hogmany where there is an unexpected visitor.

A month later

A month goes by in the blink of an eye. It is filled with feedings, clod changes, sleepless nights. Not a minute of it would I change. Our little family is preparing for Hogmany and my sister-in-law is running herself ragged.

I try to help her as much as possible. When I need her to rest, I hand her Bree and tell her," I will do it." Whatever it is. I do this about a week before Hogmany when I see that she is starting to fade. She takes the baby with a coo.

"Auntie Jenny's wee 'leanan." I head into the kitchen to see if I can help Mrs Crook.

"I have it under control Mistress. Ye and Mrs Murray needn't worry." 

"I know. I don't know what we would do without you." She flushed and shrugs off the praise. I head back into the palor and find Jenny and Bree asleep. I remove my daughter from her Auntie's arms. I head off to find Ian.

"Jenny has fallen asleep on the couch." I tell him when I find him. He nods.

"I will see her up to bed. Thanks Claire." When he gets her up and up the stairs, I take a seat on the couch and start to nurse Bree. Jamie walks in, takes a seat beside me and watches, his eyes full of wonder.

"Wot? I am just feeding our daughter."

"I ken it Sassanech. I just ne' tire of seeing it. Ne' thought I would." I smile and rests my head against him. I know what he means. Every moment is a gift with us. When she finishes, I hand her to her daddy to burb and change.

"I've her. Rest yerself Claire." I do.

The morning of Hogmany arrives. Everyone is even more frantic as final preparations are made. I find Jenny and force her to slow down and take several deep breaths. She breaths with me. When she is calmer, I head into the kitchen to see what I can do to help. I am in the middle of cutting out bannocks when Jamie comes in carrying Bree against his chest.

"I believe someone is hungry." He says. The poor lass is rooting around on her daddy's chest. 

"Come here love. You won't be getting anything out of your daddy." He hands her to me and I ask Mrs Crook if I can nurse here in the kitchen.

"Of course. It is yer kitchen Mistress." Sometime I forget that I am the Lady of Lallybroch. I adjust my daughter and start her nursing. Jamie stays and watches.

"Claire I've." Murtagh stops dead at the sight of Bree having lunch. "Beg yer pardon." He quickly turns away. I grin and have Jamie hand me a towel from the counter. I place it over Bres.

"You can turn around now."

He does. "I was just looking for..there ye are Jamie. Ian needs our assistance moving furniture." 

"On the way." He kisses me and the top of his daughter's head and follows him out.

It is soon seven and time to get ready. Jamie puts on his new kilt, wearing them until they are banned, which is unfortunately coming soon. "I will be right down." I tell him. I have changed into my new dress just have to get our daughter ready.

"Dinna be long." I smile at him and kiss him before he heads down to play host. I quickly check her clod and change her into her own new dress and bonnet. I then hurry down to join my husband. I walk over to him and hand him Bree. His eyes alight and he kisses us both. We scan the crowd. Who I see standing in the corner with a bairn on her hip, shocks me.

It is Leary. She catches my eye and then sees Bree in his arms and her face falls. I wrap my arm around him and he draws me closer. Her face reflects her rage. Mine reflects triumph.


	12. What Did the Woman Want?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is Leary there? What does she want? How will Claire respond?

"I am going to get something to eat?" I tell Jamie, giving him and Bree, who lays a sleep on his chest, a kiss. I walk over and grab a bite. I am hungry but the real reason is to eavesdrop on Leary who is in conversation with Jenny.

As I pass them, I slow down. I hear Jenny say," I will have to discuss it with my husband, brother, and sister." I see Leary start at me being referred to as Jenny's sister. I walk over to Jamie with a smile.

"What is on yer mind." He asks when he sees my smile.

"Leary is here." He starts, holding Bree tighter," she asked something of Jenny and wasn't happy when Jenny answered that she would have to discuss it with us, referring to me as her sister." Jamie's smile matches mine.

"Weel, ye are." He kisses the top of my head.

"Why don't you take our daughter to her Aunt Jenny and dance with me." He raises his eyebrows understanding my motive but goes to do it willingly enough.

I carry Bree over to Jenny. I nod at Leary before saying," Will ye hold yer niece sae I can dance with Claire?"

"Aye. Come here to Auntie Jenny, sweet baby." I transfer her over and walk away without another gesture or word to Leary. I feel her eyes on me as I walk away.

I see him say something to Jenny before handing Bree to her. I see the glare Leary gives him as he walks away. I meet her eyes and smile broadly. Then Jamie is there and i am in his arms and nothing else matters.

He holds me close as we dance around the room. I forget about Leary. I forget about all the coming trouble. I focus solely on Jamie and the way it feels to sway in his arms. Bree's piercing cry pulls me back to the present.

It is her,' feed me before I starve cry' and I hurry to her. Leary stands a bit away from Jenny and our daughter, I am happy to see. I take her from her Auntie. "Is mam's baby hungry. I have you love. Mam has you." Said over her cries and loud enough for Leary to hear. Yes, I am her mam. She is Jamie and I's child.

I take her upstairs to feed her. When she is satiated and with a good burb and a clean clod, I lay her in her cradle. I look to make sure Leary is still in the hall and no where near where Bree sleeps, before rejoining her father. I will be keeping a close eye on her.

As I head downstairs, I hear a knock on the door. I join Jamie as Jenny goes to answer it. "Who is it?"

"Murtagh. He is doing first foot fall as my da isna here too." I pull him close as Murtagh enters to cheers. The party breaks up soon after that. The last people to leave are Leary and her child.

"I will talk with my family and get back with ye." Jenny tells her as she escorts them to the door. She nods and leaves. Jenny locks the door and I bid her goodnight and head up to Jamie and our daughter.

"I changed her clod and she is back to sleep." Jamie says with pride.

"Thank you love."

"Come, get some sleep before she wakes up hungry." I curl against him and sleep soundly, woke only by my daughter's needs.

The next morning, I get up and feed and change Bree before handing her to Jamie so I can get dressed. I am anxious to see what Leary was about.

We walk down together and Mrs Crook hands us bowls of porridge before leaving to look after Jenny and Ian's children. It is time for the discussion.

"So, what did that woman want?" Jamie asks.

"Leary." I add.

"Leary! The same lass who tried to have ye.."

"Yes. The very same."

"I dinna ken. Weel, ye saw she had a wean with her?"

"Aye." Jamie answered. Ian and Murtagh just grunted.

"Hamish kicked her out of Leoch."

"I have ken'd Hamish since he was Bree's age. He wouldn't have done sae without good cause."

"Aye brother. She came up with bairn and nae husband to name it. She was asked the father's name and after the bairn was born, and she still not said, The Mackenzie threatened to have her strapped. Mrs Fitz begged her to say and before the first lash fell, she yelled it out. Twas the stable lad and he already married. Hamish kicked her out then for loose behavior. Let the stable lad go too. She came here seeking shelter and a source of support for her bairn."

"She came looking for Jamie." I think. I take a deep breath. "She can stay. Working under Mrs Crook. She is to stay away from me, Jamie, Bree, and all the other bairns bar her own. I don't trust her. I only agree for the child." I look to Jamie and he nods.

"For the bairn. If it was just her, she could sleep in the open for all I would care."

"And only until you have found her a husband. I don't wish her to be here long."

"Agreed. I will tell her." Jenny and Ian leave. 

"Christ, I hoped to ne' lay eyes on that woman again." Jamie mumbles.

"I know. Take our daughter. I need a word with Fergus.

He takes her. "About." He asks as he starts to sway with Bree against his chest.

"I will tell you when I return." I see Jenny on the way to the barn. "Did you tell her?"

"Aye and she cried."

"She expected you to kick me out so she could marry Jamie." I say.

"What?"

"She has always claimed Jamie was mean't to be hers. Find her a husband soon."

"Aye." 

I enter the barn where Fergus is working with Rabbie. "Rabbie, can you give Fergus and I a minute?"

"Aye Mistress." He walks out. 

"Fergus, I need you to do something."

"Oui' Mi'lady?"

"There is to be a new kitchen maid here named Leary. It is a long story but she tried to have me killed." He gasps. "I know. She has an innocent child or she wouldn't be here. I need you to look after Bree. To keep a close eye on her. I don't trust this Leary not to try something to her out of jealousy that Mi'lord is with me."

He stands as tall as he can, puffing his chest out, "iI will guard le fille with my life. She is my sister. None will lay an evil hand on her when I am around." I hug him close.

"Thank you Fergus. I know I can count on you." 

When I walk back in the house, Jamie is waiting with a hungry Bree. I sit down to feed her and tell him what Fergus and I discussed. He smiles broadly.

"He is a good lad. He will do as he promised. Now, I will go get ye something to eat as ye feed our daughter." He kisses the top of my head and Bree's and heads out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Callysymms and I are putting this story on a two week or so hiatus to finish a Knight to a Laird. We promise to return then with more Leary torture and possibly a new story. Please be patient with us.


	13. Red Coats and a Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leary seeths, Claire gloats, Jamie yearns, and the Red Coats search.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are back! With our other joint venture finished, we will be posting more often. Thanks for your patience.

We head into the kitchen. Leary is already working. She turns her back when we walk in. Good. "Mrs Crook, is there anything ready now as I must eat to feed the baby?"

"Aye Mistress. Bannocks and honey do?" She give me a wink. I guess she senses what is between Leary and us. I wink back.

"Perfect." I carry them to the table as Jamie has Bree. She starts to nuzzle on his chest.

"Sorry lass. Ye will get not from those. Ye must wait for yer mam."

"Mam is eating. Can you give me five minutes?" At this, my daughter yells out a wail that echoes through the room. I guess not. We hear footsteps over head and Jenny yells down from upstairs."Bree is hungry. Feed her or give her yer finger." 

I take her and place her on my breast as I eat one handed, a skill I am getting better at. We then head outside for some family time. It isn't long until I feel her eyes on me. I slowly turn.

"Leary, what are ye about? Ye are to be scrubbing the floor." Mrs Crrok scolds. I smile at her before turning away. I look down at the ground so as not to laugh.

"Sassanech?"

"Wot?"

"Ye shouldn't laugh."

"I am not."

"Come. I can see yer shoulders shake and the tears run down yer eyes."

"Well, it is funny. She expected to be the Mistress and is the scully maid. Silly child." I bounce Bree up and am rewarded with a lahgh. "See even yer daughter agrees." 

He shakes his head at us. H looks my over and his eyes change. "Oh no James Fraser."

"What?"

"I know what is in your mind and four weeks is no where near long enough. But, if you behave, I will help you out later." 

"Oh aye." He kisses me and then our daughter. Our peaceful family moment is intrupted by the sound of approaching hoofs. We soon sew a small group of red coats. "Damn, I thought they wouldn't be back sae soon."

They dismount and approach us. "Why if it isn't the mouthy English woman." One says with a sneer. I recognize him as the man who got cocky with me the day Bree was born. I step forward and Jamie pushes Bree and me behind him.

"She is a Scot via marriage and the Lady of this house." His tone is deceptively calm. I can hear the anger he has under tight reign.

"Not English then not a Lady." He drawls out with a grunt that send chills down my spine. I hold Bree closer.

"Go to the house Claire. We will be right behind you." I glare at him before turning my back. With my head held high, I walk regally towards the house. 

I meet Jenny. "The bloody redcoats are back. Is the ring well hid?"

"Aye. Along with the seeds and the best whisky and tobacco."

"Good." We head upstairs as the English turn over every bit of furniture looking for valuables. They stop short of Jenny's bosom where the ring is hid or the privy where the other valuable, secures in bags and rope, are hid. Even so, we know we must turn the ring to coin and goods and soon.

When they leave and the men have fixed the furniture, we meet with Murtagh upstairs behind a locked door. Jenny pulls the ring out.

"We must get this exchanged, and soon, before they find it."

"Aye, we can use more seed and Claire is in need of herbs and such to make her medicine." Ian says.

"If we leave in the next few days, we should be back in two weeks time."

"There be nae sense delaying. Ye need on your way to be back for Bree's Christening. We canna have.it without her Godmother," he looks to Jenny, " or Godfather," looking to Murtagh. He grunts but his smile gives him away. "Sae hurry back, the pair of ye."

"We will Jamie." Ian says. We leave the room and see Fergus standing at the foot of the stairs.

"My I hold Bree, Mi'lady." He asks. I walk down and hand her to him. I stretch out my tense muscles as Fergus speaks in French to his sister.

"She will ken three languages. Blessed lass." Jamie says. I smile. Blessed indeed.


	14. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Murtagh and Ian off to sell the ring, and Leary being Leary, there is a bit of good news for the family.

Ian and Murtagh leave with hugs to us all, thanks, once again to me, and a promise to return soon. Over the next few days, Fergus takes on more responsiblity for his sister, watching her in the early morning so I can sort the winter garden. Jamie then takes over so Fergus can do his other chores. I am kneeling in the garden one morning when Jamie comes out carrying a fussy Bree.

"I believe she needs a feed." He says as he bounces her. I would say so. The poor lass is chewing on her fist like it was the only meal avaliable. He helps me to my feet and I take her in my arms.

"Shh love. Mam is here. It is alright." I walk into the palor and start her feeding. Jenny sits reading. I notice she looks a bit peaked. Jamie notices too. I looks to me. In the way of good marriages, I tell him with my eyes that I will find out. He nods.

"Go help Fergus." He squeezes my shoulder amd does. "Jenny, is all alright?"

"I was ill this morn. Have been the last few morns. I believe I am with child again." It is hard to hug her with one arm as her niece nurses, but I accomplish it.

"Congratulations. Did you suspect before Ian left?"

"No after." She smiles at me.

"A very nice welcome home surprise." Bree finishes nursing and I hand her to her Auntie to sort my clothes. Leary walks in then. She looks right through me to Jenny.

"Mistress Murray, Miss Crook needs ye." She hands Bree back to me and hurries to the kitchen. Leary remains. She stands and stares at Bree and I. I will not let the child intimidate me. I lift Bree on to my shoulder.

"Come love. Let's find daddy. I am sure Miss Mackenzie has a floor or dish to scrub." We walk out as Leary hurries back towards the kitchen.

I find Jamie and Fergus talking in the barn. That interact so much like father and son that it takes my breath away. We step into the barn out of the wind but, I stay quiet not wishing to disturb them. Bree, on the other hand, has other ideas. She lets out a squeal at the sight of her daddy and brother. Jamie turns and his face lights up.

"What are my two favorite ladies doing out here in the cold?" Fergus comes and takes Bree and Jamie draws me into his arms. "How is Jenny, then?"

"She is wonderful." He smiles, kisses my head and we watch Fergus entertain his baby sister. Family!


	15. Return From Edinburgh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The men return from Edinburgh. They learn of Jenny's news. Bree is fussy. Leary is still lutking. Jamie is surprised by....well, you will see.

Hoofbeats echoe in the path outside. Redcoats, is my immediate concern until Fergus cries out, "The men. They have returned." 

Jenny rushes out and throws her arms around Ian as soon as he dismounts. I throw mine around Murtagh and then Ian, as soon as Jenny lets him go. 

"Come, let's get ye two a proper meal." We all walk into the kitchen. Mrs Crook hurries to sit some fresh bannocks and stew in front of them. Jenny stands up after a few minutes.

"I have something to tell ye." Jenny says. We all turn towards her. She meets my eyes and smiles. Jamie sees and frowns at me. I just smile at him. "I am with bairn again." Ian drops the bannock he was holding.

"Truly?"

"Truly. I have ill the last few days and, well, my curses have stopped." Ian jumps up and holds her tight. Jamie stands and turns towards me.

"Ye ken'd Sassanech?"

"Yes, but it wasn't mine to tell and Ian should have known first."

"Aye." He says, pulling me close. Over his shoulder I see Leary given me an evil look. I just smile at her.

Rabbie's voice intrupts our family moment. "Pardon. Your help is needed in the stables my Laird." 

"I will be right there Rabbie." He soundly kisses me and turns towards Murtagh and Ian," you two get some rest and then we will talk about Edinburgh." The head to their rooms and he heads towards the stables. I see Leary looking at him with longing eyes. I glare at her thinking," Tru it and you will get more then a slap." My thoughts are intrupted by Fergus yelling," MI'LADY!" 

This is quickly followed by Bree's piercing cry and I am off like a shot, running as fast as I can towards my daughter and son. I find Bree, with her knees pulled up to her belly, crying out in pain. I take her in my arms and yell for Jenny.

"It is colic." Jenny diagnosis. "Wee Jamie suffered the same. She will outgrow it as her wame matures but, until then, all ypu can do is comfort her." She had calmed down, a bit as she lays against my chest. I rub her back as she weeps and squirms against me. I carry her downstairs with Fergus following. 

"Will she be okay Mi'lady?"

"She will. Thank you for calling me." Jamie comes in then. "All alright at the stables?"

"Aye. A horse needed shoeing." He notices our squirming daughter. "Is the lass alright"

"It is colic. She will be."

"Aye," he frowns," Should I take her?"

"Yes please. Wash your hands first." He walks into the kitchen. I follow slowly

Leary doesn't see me, at first. She takes a step towards him and I am there. I walk up behind him and start rubbing his back.

"That feels good Claire." He says with a sigh. He looks up and sees Leary, staring. Mrs Crook does too.

"Get ye back to work, Leary." She sighs and turns away.

"Will nae the lass ever give up," he says in a low voice as he takes our daughter.

"Not as long as she thinks there is a chance with you." He shook his head.

"She is a fool." And then loud enough for her to hear."Ye are the only woman for me, Claire, and always will be." Leary glares at us both as we leave.

We sit on the couch. Jamie places Bree across his knees, belly down, and starts to gently bounce her. Her soft whines pitter out and she drifts to sleep. Murtagh, Ian, and Jenny joins us.

"Tell us about Edinburgh, then?" Jamie softly says, still bouncing Bree gently.

"We got the seed we need, as well as, all the herbs and medicinals Claire asked for. We also have a pretty hefty amount of coin left." Ian says.

"Very good. Now, we need to hide it from the Red Coats." Jamie says

"Aye, they search everywhere." Jenny agrees.

"Almost everywhere. I have ne' seen them search Mrs Crook's quarters." Murtagh says.

"Fine idea. She is very trustworthy." I agree. We call her in.

"We need you to hide some things from us. The Red Coats never search yer quarters. We trust ye explicitly as ye.have been a faithful employee all our lives." Jamie says.

"Aye my Laird. There is a lose board on my floor that I can hide it under." She takes the packages from him.

Later, as we lay in bed, Bree sleeping soundly, for now, beside us in her cradle, Jamie reaches out for me with intention.

"No Jamie, it is still to soon. I am still bleeding a little."

"Aye Sassanech. I willna enter ye but can I just make ye feel good?" His hand works between my legs. He hadn't lost his touch. He knows exactly how to bring me right to the edge and over. What neither of us were expecting is my body's reaction. 

My milk let down as the pleasure hormones flooded my blood and my nipples harden to peaks and milk sprays out and up, hitting Jamie, who's face hovers over them. He sputters and jerks away, milk dripping down from his chin.

"What in the world?" He sputters.

"I had no idea they did that." I say through my giggles.

"Weel, that was interesting. Do ye need the lass?"

"Yes. Thank you Jamie. Sorry about the milk bath." He laughs as he lifts his daughter up.

"Dinna Fash Claire. It is fine."


	16. A Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hurt stranger shows up at Lallybroch.

I wake to the sound of my crying daughter. Jamie reaches for her. "Hand her to me. She will need a feed." This reminds us both of the previous night. I start her feeding and look at Jamie. "I truly didn't know they would do that."

"Nor I. But it is truly fine Claire. I am just glad I could relax ye."

"Soon. I promise Jamie." His eyes drift to my breast, the one Bree wasn't on and he swallowed hard. I took his hand and placed it on it. Six weeks is a long time for us. I felt the deprivation too. He ran his hand over me, finding my nipple hard.

"Soon?"

"Very." When Bree finishes eating, he takes her, changing her clot and clothes as I get dressed. We then head down to breakfast. Fergus meets us at the bottom of the stairs. 

"May I take her, Mi'lady so you can eat?"

"Have you had your breakfast?"

"Oui' Mi'lady." I smile, slipping Bree into his arms. "I will take her outside for some fresh air." I kiss the top of his head and we head to the table.

Jenny is absent from the table. "Morning sickness, is it?" I ask Ian.

"Aye. She dinna wish to leave the bed."

"I will take her up some dry bannocks. They will help." We eat in silence. When we finish, I notice Fergus isn't in the courtyard. 

"He is probably in the barn with her. We have a new foal. I will go check." I smile and he kisses me before heading out. I head upstairs with some of the bannocks.

I find Jenny asleep. I smile and leave them by her bed on the table. I slip out and head to the drying shed to do a bit of work. I am soon lost in the smells and textures of my medicinals. Jamie startles me when he walks in an unknown time later.

"I am sorry Claire. I dinna mean to scare ye. It is just Bree..." I hear her then, the raising grumble that foreshadows a true cry.

"Sometimes I feel like a dairy cow." I say as I take her and adjusts my stays to put her to my breast.

"Ye ken ye are much more to her. Ye are her mam and she loves ye madly. Almost as much as I do." I reach for his hand with a smile and we watch our daughter take her lunch.

Jamie returned to work after and I head to take Bree upstairs for her nap. I meet Jenny on the stairs. "How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Much better, thank ye and thank ye for the bannocks. They helped a lot." I give her a one handed hug and head to our room. I lay Bree in her cradle. I decide to have a lie down myself to make up for some of my lost sleep from the night before. I am soon sleeping as soundly as my daughter.

A frantic pounding on the door, woke me hours later. Grabbing up Bree, after wrapping a shawl around us, I went down to investigate. Jamie was there, with Murtagh behind him. He stood in front of a injured man. 

"Begging yer pardon but, I was shoot by a redcoat. Would there be a healer about?" I stepped up, handed Bree to Murtagh, and approached him.

"I am Mistress Fraser. I am a healer. This is my husband, Jamie, Laird here. Where did they shoot you?" I saw blood but couldn't tell if it was from his leg or side.

"My leg ma'am."

"Jamie, get him in front of the fireplace. Mrs Crook, some hot water, honey, clean clothes and whisky." 

The wound was through and through, to my relief. No bullet or fragments to fetch out. I throughly cleaned it, as Jamie held him down, with hot water and whisky. 

"I know it hurts. I must make sure it doesn't fester."

"Aye ma'am." 

I stitched it up, coated it with honey, wrapped it with clean linen, gave him a mixture of honey water and willow bark tea, and urged him to rest.

"Ye too Sassanech. Ye have the bairn to look after." Jamie insists.

"Someone must stay with him."

"I will. I ken what to watch for." Murtagh offers.

"Thank you." Jamie helps me upstairs. I feed Bree and something occurs to me. "We didn't get his name."

"There be time enough tomorrow. Rest Claire." I can't do nothing else and am soon asleep.


	17. Lachlan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stranger has a name and profession. Leary is being Leary, Bree hungry, and her da hungry for her mam.

She awakes to the sound of birds instead of Bree. She jumps up and runs to her cradle and finds it empty. She hears giggles outside. Out the window she sees Jamie holding their laughing daughter up in the air. She watches for a minute before getting dressed and heading downstairs to check on her patient.

“Good morning. I am afraid we weren’t properly introduced last night.”

Lachlan ma'am Lachy to my friends.”

“Hello Lachlan. I am Claire. How are you feeling this morning?”

“Better ma'am. Thank ye.”

“Good. You may call me Claire. Have you eaten?”

“Aye m…Claire. The laird brought me something before taking yer daughter out. The young kitchen maid was quite attentive to me also. Helped me wash up even though I told her I dinna require her assistance.”

“She tends to insert herself where she is not needed or desired.” She mumbles. “I will be back to check your wound.”

“Aye Claire.”

She grabs some bannocks from the kitchen and heads out to find her husband and daughter. She finds them in the barn. Fergus is holding Bree as Jamie talks softly to Donas. Fergus is guiding his sister’s hand over the horse's back.

“There is a lass. Easy there.” Jamie tells her. She stands watching the sweet family scene. They are all mine, she thinks. She is loath to break the moment but knows Bree needs fed. “If only I had a camera.” She says. They all jerk around and give her strange looks. “never mind. Fergus let me have the princess. She needs breakfast.”

“Oui' Mi’lady.” Bree is already straining to get to her. She takes her into her arms and loosens her stays, placing her on her breast.

“Fergus, go help Rabbie.” Jamie instructs as he takes a seat on the hay bale beside her. He watches her eat for a moment. “Here, in the barn, with ye, Bree, Fergus, and the smell of hay and the sounds, of Donas, truly Sassanech, there is nae place like it.” She had been thinking the same but, can't resist teasing him.

“Better than having me in bed then?” 

“Och nae, but I have fantasized about having ye in the barn.”

She looks down to find Bree, sleeping then up to meet her daddy's eyes. “Someday soon Jamie, we wil make that fantasy come true. I must lay her down and check on Lachlan.”

“Aye. It will bid a bit longer. I found out what he does. He is a blacksmith..” She feels his hungry eyes on her as she walks away. “Are you watching my arse?”

“Aye. Ye ken how much I love it.” She laughs as she walks in the house. She is still laughing when she meets Jenny.

“What is sae funny?”

“Your brother.”

“Ah, would you like me to take Bree. I am heading for a lie down we can lie together.”

“Thank you. That would help. I need to check on Lachlan.”

She walks in and finds Leary by his side. She sighs. “It is the middle of the day. I am sure you have something you can be doing. Get back in the kitchen. Now!” She raises with a swirl of skirts and stumps back in the kitchen.

“Nae love lost between ye.” Lachlan says as she sits o down beside him to check his wound.

“No. To make a long story short, she was unhappy when I married the Laird and tried to have me killed.,” H inhales sharply. “Just so. Your wound is looking better. No signs of festering. Woud you like to try to get up?

“Aye.” She helps him stand to his feet. “Nae offence ma'am but why is th lass here?”

“None taken. There is a child. We couldn’t allow to starve.”

“Oh aye, I see.”

“Come we will see what Mrs Crook has available.” They head to the kitchen where Mrs. Crook presents them with bread and cheese. She sees Leary cleaning out the bread oven and smiles as she gets up to leave.

“Nae little lass, there is not there yet.” She hears Jenny say as she opens the kitchen door. She smiles before saying,” She has her daddy’s appetite.” For Leary's benefit. She hears her grumble as she leaves. She heads upstairs and takes Bree from Jenny. She lays down to feed her and wakes a bit later with Bree laying in her cradle and Jamie laying beside her


	18. A Fantasy Fullfilled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leary is stalking, Lachlan helping, Claire plotting, and Jamie satisfied.  
> A tad explicit.

Claire wakes and finds both her husband and daughter asleep. She smiles as she watches them both smile in their sleep. She decides to let them sleep in and carefully slips out of bed and gets dressed before heading downstairs. She slips downstairs and sighs at what she finds.

Leary is once again hanging around Lachlan. She walks over and kneels down beside him. “He is my patient, Miss Mackenzie. You were hired on as a scully maid not a nurse. So , off to the kitchen with you.” She glares at her before heading off to rejoin Mrs. Crook.

“Thank ye Claire. I had told her I dinna require her attention but she paid me nae mind.”

“She often doesn’t. Sorry about that. How are you feeling?” I ask as I check his wound.

“Much better, thank ye.” Jamie enters then carrying a fussy Bree.

“Claire, why did ye leave our bed without me this morn?” He asks as he hands me Bree. Her clod had been changed and she is dressed.

“I thought you might like a lie-in with your daughter.” I say as I arrange her in a way that allows her to eat while protecting my modesty. “I found Leary paying unwanted attention to Lachlan again.”

“Sae sorry about that lad. She is a bit hard to deal with.”

“Your wife did a fine job.”

“Aye Claire is quite a woman.”

“I would like to repay some of yer kindness to me. Do ye have any horses that need shoeing?”

“Aye we do. After breakfast I will take ye to them.”

Jenny comes in as the man head towards the kitchen. “Are you feeling better?” I ask her.

“Aye. Thank ye. Would ye like me to take little lass sae ye can eat.” 

“Thank you.” I hand Bree over to her aunt and join the lads. They head out to the barn after breakfast. I carry Bree out join them after I finish mine. I see Fergus with them. He is carefully watching Lachlan as he fits the new shoe on Donas. I also see Leary watching the men with eager eyes. She doesn’tsee me and Bree, milk drunk and doozing doesn’tgive my presence away. I walk over to her.

“Who are you watching, Jamie or Lachy? Jamie is my husband and that will not change and Lachy has no interest in you.” I casually say. She opens her mouth, to say what, I don’t find out. A baby's cry intrupts us.

“Hamish needs me.” She says and runs into her son. I shake my head. So, she named her child after the Laird. Truly delusional. I walk towards the man. Jamie looks up. He must have saw something on my face.

“What is amiss then ?” he says taken Bree. 

“A certain maid was watching you and Lachy. I asked who she was watching but before she could answer her child cried. I did find out his name.”

“Aye?”

“He is named after your cousin, the Mackenzie of Leoch, Hamish.”

He chuckles. “She might have thought that would get her into his good graces. But, the lad has a lot of Dougal in him.” We get silent then recalling his death at our hands. He meets my eyes.” We did as we had to. We survived. Bree did.” I nod. Lachlan meets Jamie’s eyes and he just shakes his head. He nods and returns to showing Fergus how to be a farrier.

“Come Sassanech. Let's get ye and the lass laid down.”

I wake later and look over to see Bree looking at me with her wide blue eyes from her cradle. “So, you are awake then?” She replies with a gurgle. I smile and lift her up. I set her to fed. I then carry her downstairs. Jenny sits in the living room. “Where is Jamie?”

“In the barn.” She responds. I smile recalling a promise I made him.

“Would you watch Bree for a bit.” She looks at me and gets it.

“Aye. I would be happy too.” I slip her into her auntie's arms and slip into the barn.

Jamie stands talking soft.Ghaildhig over the horses. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around him. 

“Och Sassanech. Ye startled me.”

“Sorry. I hoped to seduce you.”

“What?” he looks at me with hope filled eyes.

“I came out to fulfill your fantasy. Bree is eight weeks and I miss my husband.”

“I miss my wife.” He growls before taking my lips. His hands roam down my body as he growls against my lips then my neck. He loosens my stays and carefully touches my breasts.

“I just fed her. It should be fine.” He drops his head. I groan at his hungry mouth on me as his hand works between my legs. His fingers know exactly where to touch and I am soon jerking against his hand. “Jamie. Jamie I need you.”

“I need ye sae much.” He groans as he pushes my skirts out of the way and loosens his breeks. “Sae much. He presses me against the stall and guides himself into me.

“Yes!” I callout when he starts to move. That is when I see her. She stands at the door of the barn. Leary. I don't know if she can tell what we are doing so I decide to make sure she knows what she is spying on.

“Jamie! Harder baby. Right there!” I call out loud enough to leave no doubt.” So good.” It was as I clamp around him.” I love you Jamie. Don't stop!” He moves faster and I forget about Leary as a massive orgasm takes me over. I bite at his shoulder as I shudder around him. He cries out my name a moment later. When I find the energy to look up, she is gone. “Worth the wait?” I ask him.

“Aye. And ye were sae vocal. I just usually get yer wee noises nae words.”

“Oh. That was for Leary.” I say as I adjust my clothes.

“Leary?”

“She was watching. I thought to make it clear what we were doing.” He utters a curse in the Ghaildhig.

“Weel, maybe the lass will give up now.” 

“We can hope.” We walk into together., chuckling. Jenny, Ian, and Murtagh are in the living room. Murtagh is holding Bree.

“What is sae funny?” he asks. Jamie replies in a string of Ghaildhig that has them all laughing


	19. What About Hamish?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lachlan heals and leaves. Leary pushes to far. The Fraser's and Murray's must decide what to do with Hamish.

Within a few weeks, Lachlan is completely healed. “I will be off. I thank ye for all ye have done for me.” He is hugged and patted goodbye. Mrs Crook sends him off with a sack full of food. We are all sad to see him go.

Jamie

I am out in the barn the day that Lachlan left. I am turned toward the horses, feeding them, when I feel a hand on my back that isn't Claire’s. I twirl around to find Leary.

“Get back lass.” I try to back away from her but am up against the stall. “Ye aren’t to be out here.”

“Ye ken ye want me.” She pushes up against me and I make a sound of disgust. That is when I hear Jenny.

“Leary Mackenzie, come away from my brother and here! Now!”

She doesn’t move for a second and, with Jenny to witness, I push her away. She then walks over to Jenny. She stands, hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. I have seen that look and just lean against the stall and set in to watch the show.

“My brother is a happily married man, with a bairn. Ye have already been licked out of one home for loose behavior. Bairn or nae, if I see or hear of such behavior again, ye will be out on yer arse, without another warning. Now, get back in the kitchen and I.dinna want to see yer face again this day!” She scurried into the house without a word.

“I am regretting taken her in.” Jenny says to me.

“Aye. It was for Hamish nae his mam.

“Aye.” I hugged her and went back to feeding the horses.

Claire

I stood at the window, trying to raise a burb out of Bree. I see Jenny enter the barn and, a few seconds later, see Leary come up to her. It is obvious, from Jenny's body language that Jenny is given her a good scolding. But for what and why was she in the barn? I shrug as Bree finally burbs. I lay her down in her cradle so I can dress for dinner. I then walk down with Bree.

Everyone is already gathered. I smile as I see Jenny reach for a bannock.  
“Hungry?” I ask with a smile.

“Always.” She replies rubbing her tummy. The men start talking about the coming crop. Jenny and I discuss the children( wee Jamie is about to loss his first baby tooth, Maggie is having trouble with her speech, and Kitty is ready to come out of clods). I tell her I believe Bree is ready for table food. We never get around to discussing the incident at the barn.

Later, as Jamie and I cuddle in bed, with Bree sleeping on her daddy's chest, I ask him about it.

“Och, I thought her witnessing us making love would have been enough butt nae. The lass set off to seduce me and got the backside of Janet Fraser Murray’s tongue. She made it clear that bairn or no bairn, she would be out on ‘her arse' if it happened again.”

“Good. The slut deserved Jenny to go all Jenny on her.”

“Aye.”

“She will hear from me too, you know.”

“I ken. As is yer right. But, I believed Jenny set her straight.”

I came down the next morning ready to have words with Leary. I find Hamish being bounced on Fergus’ knee as Jenny and Ian look over a note. Murtagh, Jamie, amd I stand waiting for a explanation. Jenny hands Jamie the note. He reads it aloud.

“I am off to catch up with Lachlan as no one will let me near Jamie. I leave Hamish in your care.”

“It is unsigned.” Murtagh utters a Ghaildhig curse.

“Just so. Should we take the lad to Mrs. Fitz?”

“No.” I answer. “It is not his fault that his mother is, well, a word I will not use in front of the children. It is better he is raised her. We will all take care of him. Leary's name is not to be mentioned and, if she returns, Jenny and I will deal with her. Agreed?”

“Aye Sassanech.”

“As ye say Claire. The lad will be brought up well here. It is better for him.” Ian agrees.

Jenny nods. “Now that that is settled, chores men.” I hand Bree to her and take Hamish from Fergus. He follows the men out. Hamish rests against my neck with a deep sigh. Alright then.


	20. The Taking of the Tartan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Rising officially begins.

Over the next weeks, Hamish starts to adjust to his mam's absence. He isn't as upset as we all thought he would be, which shows she was as bad as mothering as we all assumed she was. He is only nine months and still needs milk. I had started Bree on solid food and took Hamish to my breast a few times a day. It isn’t as distasteful as I thought it would be to nurse Leary's child. He is, after all, just a child. 

Planting season has started. We are all out in the field, Bree in a sling on my front, Hamish carried on Fergus' back, when hoof beats approach. We look up to see Redcoats. I send wee Jamie off with the order to find,’ your uncle and da.’ Who are working further a field. He runs off to do it.

“What do you want?” Jenny demands, holding her younger bairns close to her skirts.

“Here,” the commander hands her a paper, a notice. 

“Search the house for valuables.” He commands his men. I wince thinking of the damage they will do and say a prayer that that they will not find the coin and other valuables hid under Mrs. Crook's floor.

Jamie and Ian arrive with Murtagh. Jenny hands Ian the notice and Jamie and he read it. He whispers,” Iffrin!” and hands it to me. I read it and meet his haunted eyes. It is starting. The notice orders the turning in of all tartan, by order of King George.

“Off with you. Change out of those treasonous clothes and them over to me. Now.” The commander orders. He glares at him. Ian places his hand on his arm.  
“The sooner we do, the sooner they leave.” He says in Ghaildhig. He nods. I take Hamish and a fussing Bree upstairs. I place them both on my breast as Jamie changes into breeks with muttered oaths.

“The beginning, aye. Soon I won't be even able to teach my bairns GHaildhig.

”Yes. It is just the start.” I softly say. He nods, gathers up the plaid and stumps downstairs

I watch out the window as the men push the plaid into the commander's hands. They ride off as my tears fall on the heads pf the nursing children. My only solace is that I am here with him. He isn't facing the loss of his culture alone.


	21. The Post

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie gets an unsettling letter from his cousin Jarrod.

cuddle Bree as I watch Jamie head back to the house. Hamish has fallen asleep and I laid him on the bed. Jamie comes right to me. He hugs us both tight.

“I am so sorry.” I say.

“For what?”

“That you are losing…”

“Hush. Ye are here. Ye and our daughter. Ye were able to warn us sae we are prepared. Ye have naught to be sorry about.”

“I just wish..”

“We did all we could. We must move forward from here. Starting with placing the house back in order.” I lay Bree beside Hamish, surround them with pillows, and turn to follow Jamie out. Wee Jamie wraps his arms around my legs.

“Auntie Claire, are they alright, my cousins?”

“They are. The Redcoats upset them but they are okay now. Come, let's put things right.”

We find the furniture turned over again. Food has been slipped out in the kitchen. Mrs. Crook, murmuring in Ghaildhig, is righting it.

“They dinna find..?” Jamie asks her. Her face lightens up.

“Nae, thank the Saints. They went no where near my room.” 

We soon have everything sorted. Bree and Hamish had woke. Fergus offers to take them outside.

“Thank you Fergus.” I tell him. “I am going to take a walk too.” I head off toward the arch and see the post man.

“Ah Mistress Fraser, how fortunate to meet up with ye. Saves me from riding to yer front door.” He hands me a huge stack of mail. I thank him and head back in.

“We have a lot of post.” I call out as I enter. We meet up in the parlor. I hand the stack to Jamie. He starts to hand it out.

“A letter from Paris.” He says,” from our cousin Jarrod.” He opens it and scans through it. “Ah Dhai!” He had turned pale. I reach for him.

“What is it?”

“The auld fox, our grandsir, Simon Fraser, was executed by order of His Majesty, King George.”

“I am sorry.” I say as he hands the letter to Jenny. “ He was playing both sides.”

“Sae, Jerrod said. But, I dinna. Ye ken'd?”

“I did. I just didn't want to tell you with everything else going on.”

“Sae, it is better that my cousin does, that I read it in a post?” His voice had risen and his face is blood red. I realize, with shock, that he is angry at me.

“You have and are about to lose so much, I didn't think.”

“Nae, ye donna! My own wife should have told me of my grandsir's fate.”

“You couldn’t have stopped it.” He turns and slams out. “Jamie!”

I gather up my skirts to go after him and Jenny stops me.

“Let me.” I watch her go and sink into the sofa, stunned by the sudden turn of events.


	22. The Garrison Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie heads off to see the garrison commander and Claire and Murtagh comes after him. Will he keep his cool? How will they find?

I hear raised voices on Ghaildhig and head outside. They are coming from the stable. I watch as Jamie burst out on Donas like the hounds off hell are after him.

”The damn fool!” Jenny says to his retreating back.

“Where is he going?”

“To confront the garrison commander.

“Not alone he isn’t!” I turn and yell for Murtagh and Fergus. “Murtagh, we must go after Jamie. He has went off to see the garrison commander.” He utters a few colorful curses. “Just so. Fergus, you are to keep an look out for Bree and Hamish why we go after your lord.”

“Oui' mi' lady.”

“You can't go. You are nursing.” Jenny says. 

“You went on a search for Jamie not a week after giving birth to Maggie. Hamish only eats a few times a day and Bree will be okay on goat's milk and solids until I return with her father.”

We are soon speeding towards the garrison headquarters.

“I pray it doesn’t take us months to find him this time.” I say to Murtagh.

“Aye. It willna. See, that be Donas up a head.’

It was. He is grazing nearby his sleepy master. Jamie lay, wrapped in a horse blanket. Ii walk up and kick at his arse.

He sits with a start.

“Did you think I or Murtagh would let you head off alone?” He starts to open his mouth and I roundly slap him across the face. “That was for talking to me like shite.” He grumbles something and I lay down beside him.  
We sleep for a bit before heading off again.  
We still haven’t properly spoke to each other when Jamie says,” How is Bree and Hamish?”

“They are fine. Jenny and Fergus has care of them.”

“Ii am sorry. I was hurting and latched out on the wrong person.”

“That is why you took off in a fury to see the garrison commander?”

“Aye. I want answers.”

“It might be better if I talk first. Being English.”

“Ye are a Scott but, I get yer meaning.”

We get their and my heart hammers. The last time I was in the building, Black Jack was in charge. I know he is dead but.. Jamie takes tight hold of my hand. To steady me or himself I can't tell. We enter the office of the current Garrison Commander. I am shocked by his youth. He is barely older then a lad.

We take a seat before him and he looks us over. He pays particular attention to Jamie. I frown a bit before starting to talk. 

“I am Claire Fraser and this is my husband Jamie and his Godfather Murtagh.”

“Nice to meet you. I am Captain John Grey. How can I be of service?”

“Ye can tell me why ye killed my grandsir.” 

“Simon Fraser was working both sides. He was a traitor to both King James and George.” Jamie starts to move towards him. I grab him and ask John Grey to give us a minute.

“Jamie, I have an idea that may keep the redcoats off our land.”

“Aye.” 

“If we offer them half the potatoes crop for a promise to keep off our land between..”

“Aye. Naught a bad idea “

“But if you go after him, he will less likely to be receptive.” He nods and we head back to the desk. I make the offer to him.

“As I haven't had a good potato in years, I will accept.”

“It must be put in writing and you will be the one who comes to collect and no redcoat is to enter our land without you.” I add. 

He agrees, it is written up and two copies made. We all sign it and head.


	23. Clever Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamish and Bree are growing and changing getting new skills while their mam my have a secret.

A few months have passed since we made the deal with the redcoats. Peace has reigned, to our relief. The children grew. Bree was approaching her first birthday. Hamish was a bit over a year. Hamish is fully weaned and Bre only nurses a few times a day. With the twins( as we jokingly call them) on solid food, I have more time to work on my healing art.

This is why I am out in the shed, separating dried herbs when the room goes black and I find myself on the floor. I come to with a very concerned Jenny hovering over me. She is calling for Jamie as she carefully sits me up. He arrives and lifts me up. I am carried up to bed.

“What happened?” Jamie asks when he has me laid down and Jenny has my shoes off and clothing loosened.

“I don't really know. I was drying herbs and the next thing I know, I am on the floor. I passed out.”   
“Weel, take a rest. Dinna move until ye feel stable.” Jenny advises. She slips out to check on the bairns. Jamie sits beside me.

“Come. Lay next to me for a moment.” I know we can both use the contact. He does, wrapping his arm around 

“I love you.” He softly says.

“I love you too.” I say. I recall nothing else until I wake up with Jamie asleep beside me. I look over at the cradle. Bree isn't there but I hear her downstairs. Her giggles raise up to meet me. I smile and get up. I rearrange me clothing and head downstairs.  
I find Bree sitting across from Hamish. They are rolling a ball back and forth.. “Clever children.” I say as I bend down to kiss each of them. “Momma's very clever children.” I slip out of the house for some fresh air as I still feel woozy. I take a seat on the front porch and hear the sound of toddling feet. I turn and see Hamish working his way to me. 

“Oh, look at you my lad! You are walking.” I hold my hands out and he toddles over to me. I lift him onto my knee as his adopted sister also decides to impress. She comes crawling out the door( she had been scouting on her bum but had yet to crawl).   
“Oh lass! Look at you! Such a big girl!” She hurries over to me and I hug them both tight. “You had to follow your brother? My clever girl!”

Jenny, having heard ne, comes out to see what is happening. She supports her huge tummy as she hurries over.

“Hamish walked and Bree crawled!” I tell her with pride.

‘Ah, tis a grand day. But, we will be in for it now.” She takes Hamish from me and I stand with Bree on my hip. “Dinna I say, ye would look bonny with a wee one on yer hip?”

“You did.” I sway with Bree before feeling a bit dizzy and faint again. I lean against the side of the house.

‘’And maybe another soon.” She adds.

“Wot? I have just started weaning Bree. I can't be.”

“I ken the look. We will ken true in a few days time. Come. Time for supper.” O follow her, carrying my daughter and maybe? Ii tell Jamie the news about the children’s latest achievements over supper.

“Weel, my clever lass and lad! Sae veera proud of ye both but yer mam's job will get harder.”

“And your da's.” I add..

“Oh aye.” He lifts the children up over his head and they both squeal with laughter. I watch them with a soft smile, my mind on the secret I may be carrying.


	24. I Have Something to Tell You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sickness dreams news and a surprise from Jenny.

A wake the next morning to the gurgling of my daughter. I lean over and meet her smiling face. She sits up in her cradle and her babbling gets louder. I reach over to touch her check.

“My sweet girl.” I coo before taken her out of the cradle and changing her clod. I dress us both and head downstairs. Fergus meets us at the bottom of the stairs.

“Good morning mi' lady and mi' petite fille'. Would you like me to take her, mi' lady?” I can only nod as another wave of nausea overtakes me. I thrust Bree into her brother's arms and run outside. I make it before emptying my stomach. I look up to see Jenny. She holds her massive stomach and grins at me.

“I am right.”

“It could just be the stomach flu.” I argue.

“We will see tomorrow.”

“I am going for a walk to get some fresh air.” I announce. She nods and watches me go. I walk out into the fresh clean air. I take big gulps of it. I stop and lean against a bit of stone wall. I feel a hand on me. It is Murtagh.

“Are ye alright lass?” He looks at me with concern.

“Not really.”

“Ye look a bit green. I have seen ye look such one other time, in Paris when ye were pregnant with Faith, may she rest with the angels.”

I just stare at him. He thinks I am pregnant. Jenny does too. But, Bree isn’t even a year old! I can’t fathom being pregnant again, for the third time in five years.

“Maybe. Don’t say anything to Jamie yet.”

“Aye lass.”

I woke the next morning, sick again. I found a bowl, thank God. Once again Jenny is there.

“Back to bed with ye lass. Get a bit more rest. I will take Bree and Hamish.”

“Thank you.” I lay back down and dream of three toddlers running around the yard. Bree chased by two little ones, the same age, one with my hair, the other with a perfect blend of Jamie's and I's. I wake gasping.  
I hurry downstairs and out the door, seeking fresh air. I walk until I see Redcoats gathered at the end of the lane, just off our property. I turn and walk back. I take a seat on the front steps.

“Are ye alright?” Jenny is beside me. I shake my head no.

“Have you ever had a dream that has come true?” She gives it some serious thought.

“Aye. Right before I found I was carrying wee Jamie, I dreamed I was.”

“I dreamed I am having twins.”

“Ah, maybe lass.”

“I need to tell the others and something else too.” We walk inside and gather the other members of our family, the adults and Fergus. Mrs. Crook has the children.

“ I have something to tell you. The Redcoats are gathering at the end of the lane.”

“I will prepare the potatoes then.” Jamie says and starts to get up.

“Wait, there is one other thing. Bree, Hamish, and Fergus will have a sibling at the beginning of the year. I am with bairn again.” Jamie's face froze in shock as Fergus yells out a French shout of joy.

“Sae, I was right then.” Murtagh comments.

“Ye?” Jamie finds his voice.

“He suspected. Saw me after I had been sick. Put it together.”

“A new baby!” Jamie jumps up and pulls me into a hug. Ian offers his congratulations. Everyone is happy and joyful.

“I hate to interrupt the celebration. But my water just broke.” Jenny calmly announces. I am just as calm as I lead her upstairs. Murtagh is sent for the midwife.


	25. A Wee Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny gives birth.

I get Jenny changed into a old shift and we start walking the room. She grunts through the pain as the contractions start up hard and consistent. Her hand holds on to her back as we pace the room. I recall the birth of Maggie and say a prayer the midwife is available today. I fear that I may not be the only one having twins. 

We walk. I press on her back , applying counter pressure as we pace around. Jenny groans and moans but refuses to scream fearing it will upset the bairns. Her 'uggs' and 'ahhs' sound familiar to the sounds that likely accompanied conception. They make me smille until she grabs tight to my hand and squeezes hard.   
“I know. I know. Let it out Jenny. It is okay.” She does with a grunt that ends in a scream as the contraction rips through her. A minute later the midwife arrives breathlessly in the room.

“I dinna think I would be called with a healer in the house.” She says as she reaches out and manipulates Jenny’s abdomen. She meets my big eyes. “I see. Mrs Murray, let's examine ye then ye can walk some more.” Jenny allows us to lead her to the bed. We gentle touch her, confirming what we both suspect.

“Jenny, you are having twins.” I softly say. “We may have six children under two.” I realize. Jenny grunts.

“Twill be chaos but a good kind…Ohhh.” The midwife looks between her legs and nods.

“It willna be long.” We lift her back to her feet and let her walk until she can't. The contractions are right on top of each other and she can't hold in her screams. 

“The first bairn is on the way. Bear down Mrs. Murray. That is it.”

“Claire, up here please. I need yer hand.” I join her, holding her hand and her body up as she labored to push the baby out. A few pushes later, the midwife reaches down and slips the child out. A cry erupts from the child.

“What is I” Jenny asks, sitting up and reaching for the baby.

“A brawl lad.” She says placing the baby in her arms. She cuts the cord and delivers the afterbirth as mother and son, bond.

“Claire take him. The other is on the way.” I take my wee nephew as his mam sits back up and , pushing hard, slowly delivers his sibling. She slips out with the same loud cry her brother gave. 

“It is a wee lassie.” I tell her as the midwife cleans her up and places her in her mam's arms.

“One of each.” Jenny softly says as she holds her children. “How blessed am I.”

“I will go tell Ian.” I offer as the midwife cleans her up.

“Thank ye Claire.” I find him pacing back and forth holding Hamish. Jamie holds Bree as wee Jamie, Maggie, and Kitty sit in solemn silence. 

“Give me Hamish and go meet your son and daughter.”

“Son and.”

“You have twins.” I tell the stunned new father. He hands Hamish to me and hurries upstairs.

“Twins? And Jenny is alright?” Jamie asks as Hamish curls up against me.

“Yes and yes.”

“Can we see mam?” Wee Jamie asks for his siblings.

“Soon. Let da first.” He is satisfied with the knowledge his mam is okay.

A bit later, Ian appears and invites up to formally meet the twins. Jenny has been cleaned up and lays holding the children in her arms. Her other children gently approach her and she lowers the twins down for them to see.

“It will b our turn next.” Jamie whispers as he watches them.

“Not for awhile.”

Bree and Hamish are just as fascinated and we lower them down so they can see also.

“What have ye named them sister?”

“May I introduce Janet and Michael.”


	26. Potatoes and Red Coats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The red coats and John Grey come for the potatoes. Jenny adjusts to the twins. Bree is jealous.

The potatoes are separated. Half for us and half for the Redcoats. Jenny tries to do return to her regular chores but nursing two children takes a lot out of her. I finally set her to knitting. With all the children in the house, winter coming, as well as I or two more children on the way, we will need a lot of clothing. This keeps her busy without wearing her out. She knits, nurses, and sleeps.

One day I walk in to find her asleep, the knitting needles in her hand, and Janet and Michael asleep in their bassinet. I cover her with a blanket and head outside where I find Jamie playing with Bree and Hamish. He is spinning them around and they are both laughing hard. I join them. Bree sees me, yells, MaMa' and reaches for me. Jamie hands her over.

“Momma's little lass. Are you having with your daddy and brother?” She gurgles happily. Our peaceful family time is interrupted by the sound of hoof beats. Jamie swoops up Hamish to keep him from being trampled. It is John Grey and a small contingent of Red Coats.

“Hello. We are here for the potatoes.”

“Aye. We have them ready.” He hands me Hamish and calls for Ian and Murtagh. I sway with the children while keeping an eye on John Grey and his men. Jamie is soon back, with the other men and the potatoes. They hand them over and they are loaded on the horses.

“We appreciate it. I will be back in a few weeks.” John Grey says. I tense up. “Relax. Just me and a few of my men for protection.” 

“Watch what you say and do as I can't control my response.” I say. He looks me over and seems to see I am pregnant. He nods and they take off.

Jenny comes out. “What is amiss then?”

“Just the red coats fetching the potatoes. Dinna Fash.” Jamie replies. She nods and we all hear one of the twins let out a yell. We hurry in. It is Michael wanting fed. I sit Bree and Hamish on the floor and pick up Janet. I am swaying with her and softly cooing when Bree grabs ahold of my skirt. She looks at me accusingly. 

“You best get used to it little miss. There is another one or two on the way.” Jamie chuckles. “Jamie, please take our children, including the jealous miss, so I can help Jenny.”

Come mo' leanen. Let’s see what we can see in the barn.” He lifts her and Hamish up and they start to giggle. He carries them out. I change Janet’s clod and then Michael’s as Jenny feeds Janet. Ian then walks in.

“I have him. Thank ye Claire.” I hand his son to him and go join my children in the barn.


	27. A Small Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fraser's take a ride and...well, some explicit activity and gentle talk of the bairn or bairns before they are intrupted.

I finds them all in the stable. Murtagh holds Bree up to pet Donas as Jamie does the same with Hamish. 

“There's a lad. Gentle now. Verra good.” Hamish's small hands gently pat the ebony coat of a resigned Donas. “Ye must get used to the feel of horse flash under your hands. Ye will be a fine rider some day.” Seeing him thus, being so attentive to another man's son. Treating Hamish as he would Bree, as I have seen him treat Bree, was doing something to me. I bite my lip tight as I walk in. Bree sees me and squeals. They all turn to me then.

“Hello Sassanech. I thought ye were helping Jenny.”

“Ian took over.” They both here it inn my voice. Murtagh lifts his thick eyebrows to his hairline.

“How about I take the bairns into Mrs. Crook, shall I?”

“Aye,” A distracted Jamie answers handing Hamish over without moving his eyes off me. Murtagh takes the children and slips out of the barn.

“I want to go for a ride.” I tell my husband. He quickly has Donas ready and I place myself in front of him. I wiggle my expanding bum against him and am rewarded with a deep groan.

“Christ Claire.” He starts Donas at a trot that develops into a gallop as I start to do figure eights against him. We fly across the countryside. He rides us until we reach a sweet meadow. He halts Donas and we dismount. He has stopped under a tree. He hopples the horse and turns to me. He is on me without a word. His lips claim mine in a kiss that borders on assault. I don't mind. I am just as needy. He lowers us to the ground and opens the front of my gown with practiced ease. One hand pulls on my breasts as the other inches my dress up. His lips leave mine and trail down my neck, nibbling and sucking before reaching the first of my pregnancy sensitive nipples. I cry out, arching into his mouth.

His hand has found me wet, slick with need. He groans as he works to open his breeks. He gets them open and, still suckling, enters me with one thrusts. I scream his name and he leaves my breast to call out mine. One more deep thrust and I am clamping around him. My breath leaves in a whoosh as I shudder around him. Another few thrusts and he is coming too.  
We lay breathless in each others arms. He is drawing patterns over my stomach as he rests his head on my breasts. I run my hands through his hair feeling at complete peace. I thought occurs to me and I chuckle.

“What is it?”

“I was just thinking that I am so glad I didn't keep my promise.”

“To leave, ye mean?”

“Yes. I can't imagine not having this. You, Bree, Hamish, Jenny, Ian, and their brood.”

“Aye, and the newest one.” His hands move with purpose, cradling our child or children.

“I had a dream. A dream of you chasing Bree and two younger children around the yard. The same age. One had my hair, the other yours.”

“Twins. Ye believe ye are having twins?”

“Just maybe.” He grins, kisses my breasts then bends down to kiss my stomach.

“We just may use all those Apostles spoons after all.”

“Don't count on that James Fraser, “ I say with a joyful laugh, “ But maybe half or so of them.” I start to redo my bodice knowing we had to soon return to our children.

“I will take any bairns ye and God give us with thankful praise.” I agree. I hadn't thought I could have any and know have given birth twice, am pregnant again, and have two adopted sons. We are truly blessed. Are interlude is soon disturbed by the sound of approaching hoof beats. Jamie looks around and curses.

“What is it?”

“We are not on Fraser land. Come Sassanech. Quickly.”

We remount and are soon hurrying towards clan land as fast as Donas can go with the frustrated Red Coats in pursuit. We make it to the edge of the Fraser’s land. Jamie stops and bows, with a grin from a top Donas. They glare at him but dare not come farther. We turn and head home


	28. Temper Tantrums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ton of children mean a ton of chaos.

I am growing more rapidly with this pregnancy. It may just be more then one. Jenny and Ian's twins are growing rapidly also and she is slowly adjusting to having 6 bairns. Wee Jaime, seven, is a big help to both his parents, helping Jenny with the twins and Ian and his Uncle Jamie, in the barn. Maggie, five, has discovered a love of healing and spends must of her free time helping her Auntie Claire in her shed. Kitty, age three, leads her now toddling cousins, around.   
I spend a lot of time sitting in her drying shed. I want to get as much done as possible before the bairn or bairns come. I am sitting there when Fergus comes in holding Hamish's hand. Bree sits on my lap, ‘helping' her mam by pounding a wooden spoon on the counter, occasionally hitting the ginger we are preparing.

“Bon jour, MI ‘lady. Where is MI’ lord?”

“He is in the field.” Fergus nods and looks down at Hamish. I smile. “How about if I take the children to Mrs. Crook and you can go join Mi’lord.”

“Thank you Mi’lady!” I take Hamish's hand, adjust Bree on my hip and head into the kitchen.

Mrs. Crook is making up bannocks for supper. She looks up with a smile when we enter. “Mrs. Crook, would you mind taken one of the bairns?”

“Aye Mistress. As much as I adore our Bree, may I have Hamish?” I place his hand in hers and turn to go. Hamish shrieks when he sees we are leaving.

“I will come back for him if he doesn’t settle in ten minutes.” I promise Mrs. Crook. Bree and I head back to the shed. I set her on her feet. She holds onto the bench and I hand her a piece of thyme. She places it in her mouth and them immediately spits it out. She gives me a betrayed look. 

“My silly girl.” I tell her. She starts to tear it a part. I finish preparing the ginger and separated it into sealed containers. When I am done, I take Bree's hand and we head back into the kitchen. Hamish is playing with a bit of dough. He squeals when he sees Bree.

“I think he missed us.” I say to my daughter. He squeals louder when he hears me.

“Hamish hush! The twins are asleep.” His Auntie Jenny says. His eyes fill up with tears and he starts to wail. I sigh and scoop him up in my arms.

“Hush son or I will take you to your da.” His cries get louder. I carry him outside with Bree, holding on to my skirt, and toddling behind. Jamie comes out of the barn as I place Hamish on the ground. “Have your temper tantrum outside do you don't disturb your cousins.”

“What is this about then?” Jamie asks. I explain as he looks down at Hamish. He shakes his head at him before lifting him up.

“Ye must act like a little man. Ye mustn't disturb yer baby cousins.” He carries the angry lad into the barn and sits him on a hay stack. “Their, a safe place to throw a fit.” He picks up Bree, who had been holding her hands up to him. Hamish sees and his cries get louder. Jamie sighs and lets him wail his outrage out. 

Later, we all head in for dinner. Both children wish to be on my shrinking lap. I try to balance them on my lap. Bree fusses and smacks at her brother for taking her spot. I look to Jenny.

“And there is more on the way.” She laughs. I glare. “What are we to do?”

“Prepare for chaos.”

Fergus enters and takes stock of the situation. “I will take Hamish, Mi’lady.” I gratefully hand him over. Bree sees her brother with her brother and cries, reaching her hands up too. “Well, come little miss.” He takes her by the other hand and leads them both out. Silence descends and the adults eat in peace.

As we are finishing, we hear hoof beats. Ian and Jamie hurry out to check.

“It is Lord John.” Jamie reports. I sigh.


	29. Who Lord Johm Fancies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fraser's are shocked by who John fancies and Claire has another surprise.

I simply sigh. “I am going to check on Bree and Hamish.” I tell Jamie. He simply nods, preoccupied by what Lord John could want. When Ii enter, both children squeal when they see me. Bit, Mrs. Crook frowns.

“What is amiss, Mistress?”

“Lord John is here.”

“Oh. How many Redcoats with him?”

“Just the two.”

Good. I've enough bannocks made for that many. Maybe feeding them will keep them away from a search.”

“Good plan.” I usher the children out so she can work. I join Jamie and greet our company.

“Who do you have with you?” Jamie asks Lord John.

“ Lieutenant Jeremy Smith and Lieutenant George Woods. Meet Laird James. Fraser and his wife Lady Claire Fraser.” Jamie bows to them and I offer a quick curtsy.

“Our daughter Brianna and our adopted son Hamish.” Jamie adds. We all retire to the parlor where Jamie serves whisky to the men until dinner is called.

“Who do you want, Hamish or Bree?” I ask Jamie as we sit.

“Hamish as he is heavier.” I sit him down.

“Go to da.” I say. He toddles over and Jamie lifts him up. 

“Who's my big lad?” Jamie says, lifting him up causing Hamish to giggle. He kisses his nose and then sits him in his lap. Mrs. Crook serves the food. Jenny sits across from us and watches John out of the corner of her eye. Her eldest keep the table entertained with stories from the stables and my surgery.

“Auntie Claire lets me pound the mint leaves. It helps to keep a bodies wame settled.” Maggie is telling Lord John and the others.

“Excuse me Maggie, gentleman. May I have a private word with ye brother.” Jamie frowns but excuses himself and follows his sister out. Ian and I look at each other and shrug.

“So, you wish to be a healer, also.” One of the soldiers ask Maggie.

“Aye sir. I plan on.. “ But whatever she was about to say was interrupted by loud Ghaildhig shouting. I quickly stand, excuse myself, and hurry out.

I find Jenny and Jamie, face to face, ib the hall. “Be quiet, you two. You can be heard in the dining room. Come, let's sit and you can tell me what is going on.”

We slip into the sitting room. I turn to them. Jenny fiddles with a piece of lace on the arm oof the chair before saying,” Tis about who Lord John Grey fancies.”

“You mean Jamie?” They both look at me in shock. “I knew it from our meeting at the Garrison.”

“Just sae. But my sister believes h .also fancies ye “

“Me?”

“Aye. Bot that I can blame the lad but, if he is a Sodomite..,

“He can fancy both sexes. Why do ye think he fancies me?”

“It is in the way he looks at ye, both of ye. Be careful. I ken we must make nice but..”

“Dinna fash sister. We willna be making that nice.”

When we return to the table, Jamie apologizes for the family quarrel. 

“All is alright now?” Lord John inquires… I watch the way he looks at my husband and then over at me. It is a bit unnerving.

“Aye tis'.” Jamie answers and dinner continues. After, I ask Bree If she wishes to go out for some fresh air. Hamish has falling asleep in his Uncle Ian's arms where Jamie had placed him. She squeals her agreement. We have some new lambs in the sheep pen and my daughter loves them. 

She toddles over as soon as I place her on the ground. I stand close behind her as she reaches for the lambs with her chubby hands. I bend over to guide her hand to one of them. When I do, I feel a hand on my bum. It is not Jamie's. I turn slowly around and am shocked at who I see


	30. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is touching Claire? What will Jamie do?

The feel of a stranger’s hand on my arse immediately throws my back to my first meeting with Black Jack. I shudder and strain to find the commanding, Mistress of the house, voice that my fear and disgust had temporarily stolen from me.

“Get your hands off of me at once Lieutenant Wood!” 

He just sneers as he pushes me back against the sheep pen. I then remember Bree. I say a prayer she has run off to find an adult but, I am unable to look around for her.

“Come on. I know you want it.” He grinds against me as much as my protruding stomach will allow.” I saw the way you were looking at me.”

“You had better let me go before my husband shows up!” I am trying to get my knee up to kick him but this multi-layered dresses don't make it easy.

“Your husband can do not. He dare not touch me least we treat him like the Scottish bastard he is.” He moves closer and suddenly I feel him being jerked free of me. I look up, expecting to see Jamie. But, it is Lord John who holds Wood with a look of disgust.

“To see one of my officers treating a Lady thus.”

“She is no Lady. She is a Scot” Lord John punched him hard on the face and he staggers back. Unfortunately for him, he staggers into a rapidly arriving Jamie. 

“Ian check on Claire. Jenny, get Bree.” He orders before turning his fury on Wood. He turns him around to face him and knees him straight between his legs. He goes down with a barely heard” whoosh” as his breath and color leaves him. Jamie stands over him a moment, debating before shaking himself, taking a deep breath, and turning to Lord John.

“Help me get him away from here before I kill him.” 

They move him to the field and deposit him there. I see Lord John rubbing the hand he punched him with.

“Let's get that checked out.” I say. I am eager for something to do. Something that will distract me. Jamie looks closely at me.

“Are ye okay Sassanech?”

“I will be. Come Lord John.”

“You can call me John.” I nod.

“John follow me to my surgery.” John and Jamie both do. Jamie stands at the door, arms crossed, as I work on John.

“I believe you have a few cracked knuckles. I will wrap it tight and it should heal fine.”

“Thank you Claire.”

“No, thank you for what you did.”

“Aye, thank ye John for, once again protecting my wife.”

“I just did what you would have done. I just happened to get there first.”

“Aye. What will happen to the lad?” he asks as I wrap tight bandages on John's hand.

“He will lose his rank, spend some time as a guest of the crown in one of His Majesty’s prisons.”

“Good.”

We head back in. John had told us the other lieutenant was guarding Wood so it was just our family and John. I hold Brew tight on my lap as Mrs. Crook serves tea. I see Jamie add a dollop of whisky to his and wish I could have the same. 

“Will ye stay for supper?” Jamie offers. Jenny looks at him strangely as she rocks Janet and Michael. Hamish sit's wide eyed in his Uncle Ian’s lap. The other children sit around the table using their best company manners.

“I fear I cannot. I must see Wood to the garrison. I will return with less troublesome guards in a few weeks time.” 

“We will be happy to have ye.” He raises, bids us farewell, and is off.

“Happy to have ye. A red coat!” Jenny whirls on Jamie as soon as they are out of sight. “One that..” she stops recalling the presence of the bairn's.

“I ken Janet. But, this red coat protected Claire's virtue, twice now. Besides, better the devil ye ken. We can have him every two weeks or sae or unannounced raids. As for the other, I will invite him to play a game of chess. That should keep his mind occupied.”

“Aye brother. I ken ye be right. I am going to have a lie down while they sleep.” Ian helps her to her feet and she carries the twins upstairs.

“Me too.” Bree also lays asleep in my arms. Jamie helps me up.

“Are ye alright, truly?”

“I am.” I kiss him and head upstairs.


	31. A Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire has a nightmare. A bit of sweet family time. And someone returns.

I wake sometimes in early dawn. Jamie is shaking me and I am covered in sweat. I look up into my husband’s concerned eyes.

“Ye were screaming Sassanech.” 

“Bad dream. Blackness the only thing I could see was Black Jack Randall.” I shudder at the memory. Jamie pulls the soaked shift off, wipes the sweat off me, and helps me into a new one. Bree hears us and calls out Mamma Da Da.” As she stands up in her cradle. Jamie lifts her up. 

“Tis fine mo chridhe. Mamma just had a bad dream.” He hands her to me and I rock her against my chest as I softly sing her a lullaby my oen mum sang to me. Jamie watches us, wide eyed. 

“I have never heard ye sing that to her.”

 

“I have. When she was little. Just never in front of anyone.” She has fallen back to sleep. He takes her and lays her back down.

 

“Come, let me hold ye and keep the dreams away.” I rest my head on his chest and the feel of his thumping heart does keep the dreams away. When I wake up again Jamie is already off. Bree stands by the bed, holding her hands up. 

“Well, how did you get out, monkey?” I lift her on to the bed and she starts to bounce. “monkey girl!” I say as I hold her hands and her giggles fill the room. They draw her Auntie.

“Aw look at ye. Full of energy. Do ye want breakfast?” 

“Yum mamma.”

“Yes yums.” I check her clod and lower her down. “Go with Auntie Jenny while momma gets dressed.” She does and I slip a dress on. The stays are tight over my expanding chest and abdomen. I am so big.   
I waddle down and join my family for breakfast. As Mrs. Crook places a bowl of porridge before me, I see Bree bouncing on Murtagh’s knee. Hamish sits with Fergus. Jamie and Ian are already gone.

“The lass has been doing this for awhile.” Murtagh says with affection. He loves his granddaughter.

“She was doing it up on my bed too. I think she needs to head to the fields and expand some energy.” After breakfast I ask her,” Do you want to go see the lambs?”

“Amb mamma!” She squeals. I take her hand and Hamish hurries over dragging Fergus with him.

“Hamish lamb!” He pronounces.

“Sorry Mi’lady.” Fergus says.

“It is alright. I will take them both.” I take one in each hand and we head out. Both children squeal at the sight of the fluffy baby sheep. I try to not think about what happened out here the day before. I know I must get passed it. 

Jamie walks up and Bree sees him. “Da da!” she lifts her hands up. He picks her up and spins her around. She laughs and squeals. Hamish pulls at his breeks.  
“Hamish too.” He sits her down and she staggers like a drunk still laughing. He spins him too. The children, our children's laughter rolls over the fields and draw the sheep to the front of the pen.

“I love that sound.” I say to Jamie.

“Aye. Our bairns are sae happy and healthy. We are sae blessed.” I nod. We see a man approach on horseback. We each pick up a child.

“I hope it is alright I came back.” He says.

“Lachan! Of course lad. Glad to have ye back. Come on in and we will catch ye up on all that has happened.


	32. Four Under Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lachan is caught up. Claire goes into labor.

Jenny is shocked to see Lachan. She sits him down, feeds him Bannocks and honey and we catch him up.

“Sae, the lass left. Said she was off to find ye and left Hamish behind.” Jamie explains.

“I haven’t seen her since I left.” He frowns, looking over at Hamish who leans against my leg. “She just left him?”

“Yes. But he has found a home here. He is now Hamish Mackenzie Fraser, our son and Bree and Fergus' brother.” I explain.

“Good. Tis better for him.”

“Lachan, we can really use a farrier here. I would love for ye to stay. I canna pay ye but will provide food and board. Tis safe here. We made a deal with the redcoats.” He then explains about the deal made with Lord John Grey and the potatoes. “He is one of the good ones. We get along weel enough”

“I would love to stay. Thank ye.”

Life continues. The child( children) continue to grow in me. Bree is walking and talking, gaining new words every day. Hamish is almost three. He is out of clods and Fergus and wee Jamie are teaching him how to do simple chores. Janet and Michael are sitting up and heading towards crawling. 

It is harvest time and the men are out in the field. I am at the end of my pregnancy and restless. I head out to the paddock and lean against it, seeking the clean air. I stand and watch the horses nuzzle each other. It is so peaceful. I enjoy the quiet( the children are inside with Jenny and Mrs. Crook). I am unprepared when the first pain racks through me. It doubles me over and takes the breath I would usually use to scream.

Fergus is suddenly at my side. He is becoming a young man. At the sight of me, bend over and in obvious pain, his voice cracks.

“Mi’lady,” it grows high at the end,” are ye alright? Is it time?”

“It is. I need to get inside.” He, sweet boy, tries to pick me up. “No Fergus. Just support me.” He allows me to lean against him and we start to lumber into the house.

“I have her. Thank ye son.” Jamie says as he runs up. He takes my weight off Fergus. “Saddle up Donas and hurry for the midwife.”

“Oui' Mi’lord.” He starts to hurry off but turns and kisses my cheek first. My heart swells with love for my oldest son even as my stomach tightens again to help push the newest out. I gasp and we stop. Jamie rubs my back as we ride out the pain. Slowly, stopping every seven minutes or so, we make our way into the house.

Fergus and Bree, jump up and run over to us. They wrap their arms around my legs.

“It is alright loves. Momma is just having the baby.” I tell them.

“Momma baby?” Bree asks.

“Aye, the bairn is coming .”

“Momma do you hurt? Fergus looks up with concern.

“A bit( the understatement of this and every century) but it will be alright. Take your sister and find your cousins.” I can't go on as another contraction hits. I lean against Jamie as he finishes talking to our son.

“Dinna fash. Momma will be fine. Tis just what it takes to make the baby come. Go find your cousins now sae I can get momma upstairs.” With one final look at me, he takes Bree's hand and they head away.

Jamie and Jenny take turns walking me around the room. I try to ride out the labor quietly for the sake of the children but it is impossible. I groan, cry, curse, and scream, as my body labors to release it's occupant( s?) My waters have yet to break so I know it will be a long labor. Jamie rubs my back, pressing hard against the strong force that is ever so slowly, opening up my uterus. He had tried to rub my belly once. I was in the middle of a huge contraction. I hit him. He didn’t try it again.

I make a note to apologize later. For that and the colorful curses that flow from my lips. We are making another circuit around when the midwife hurries in.

“My apologies Mistress. I was assisting at another birth. I simply nod, unable to speak through the pain. Just then my water breaks. “On the bed with her.” 

Jamie assists me up. She runs her skilled hands over me.

“The other birth, it went well?” I ask.

“Aye, the McDonald’s have a healthy son.” I smile and see Jamie do the same. The McDonald’s have four lasses. A son is a true blessing to them. “Ye Mistress will be having two.” 

“I was right then.” I get out before the wave starts to pull me back under. 

“Aye. “ says Jenny,” now bets on the hair color and sexes. I say a lass with red hair and a lad with Claire’s.” She looks to Jamie.

“Both a lad and lass with red hair.”

“Girl with mine. Boy with Jamie's." I offer.

The pains intensify after my water breaks. I cry and scream, holding tight to Jamie. I can no longer stand for him to touch me as all my nerves are on the surface of my skin. But, I must be touching him.

“Ye are almost there.” The midwife reports an hour( a day, year, century) later. Time ceases to lose meaning in the midst of the work of birth.

“Oh f*ck. Oh Christ. I can’t do it.”

“Ye can. Ye are.” Jenny replies. “I willna be long.”

“Have to push!” I shout two contractions later. Jamie supports my back, Jenny holds one knee up, and I press down hard.

“Grand Mistress, just like that.” 

The power behind the compulsion to push, push, and once more. I can no more stop it then I could stop the wave coming on the shore.

“Here comes baby number one.” One final push and I feel the give as the child slips out of me. “Tis a lass.” 

She lays the baby across my chest. She has my hair and her daddy’s eyes. She blinks at me, trying to focus. I hold her close as our midwife delivers her afterbirth. My third daughter! Alive and well. I let the tears come. Jamie strokes her hair, letting his own tears fall. We hold her and bond with her as we await her twins birth.

Around twenty minutes later, the pains start back up. I had the baby to her Auntie Jenny and get back to work.

“Once more. The head is almost out.” I gasp, push and groan. “Good.” Again the indescribable feeling of a human slipping out of me.

“A lad.” She announces,” and a red head. Mistress, ye were right.” She lays my son on my chest.

“No more for awhile. Four under four are enough.” I tell Jamie later. I am cleaned up, the children are also and tightly swaddled. They rest in our arms.

He smiles down at our son. “ We will see. What do you want to name them?”

“You have something in mind?”

“Aye. For our son, William Fergus Alexander. After his late uncle, brother, and da.”

“For the lass.” I grin down at her.

“Julia Elisabeth. After her grandmother and mam.”

“Julia.” I whisper. She blinks at me. “Thank you Jamie. William and Julia are perfect.” Julia nuzzles my chest. I laugh. “You, little lass, are surely your da's daughter. “ I put them both on my breasts.


	33. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lord John meets the twins and his true feelings emerge.

Jamie help me a lot after the twins were born. Whether it is entertaining Bree and Hamish or jumping up to grab them at night to see if they need a feed or only a cuddle or clod change  
.   
One morning as we prepare the children for the day, we hear horses. Jamie, carrying William, looks out. “It is Lord John and one other.” I sigh. Well, it is better then the alternative, I remind myself. I also recall that he has yet to meet the twins. I was still pregnant the last time he was here. 

“Fergus,” Jamie calls,” Come help Bree and Hamish down. We have company for breakfast.”

“Oui' Mi’lord. Is it the redcoat?”

“Aye, Lord John Grey and another.” He nods and takes one child in each hand. Jamie and I follow behind.  
Lord John’s get big when he sees we each carry a baby. Jenny, despite not liking the arrangement, has them seated and had served them drinks.

“I will go tell Mrs. Crook of our vistors, aye?”

“Thank you Jenny.” 

“You had two?”

“Aye, was blessed with one of each.” Jamie walks up and offers him William. “Our son, William.” He takes him carefully.

“He has your eyes.” Lord John looks to me.

“He does. Our daughter, Julia, has Jamie’s.” William starts to fuss and Jamie takes him back up. He bounces him against him. But, it is obvious what he wants. He is rooting

“Sorry son. I canna help ye there.” I reach for him and transfer Julia to her da. 

“Hush my love, momma has you.” I take a seat across the room and cover myself before placing him on my breast. I could have left thee room but, I am covered and find no shame in the act of feeding my child. I feel eyes on me and look up. Lord John is watching Jamie watch me. The jealousy is obvious but, whether it is of or for me, is impossible to tell.

Jamie's eyes hold awe. I smile and hold my hand out to him. He walks over and I take Julia. I find it easier to feed them together. I slip her under too and Jamie takes a seat beside me. He rubs my back while talking to our guests. Lord John carefully rearranges his face when Jamie focus' on him. 

Bree walks up. “Momma cuddles.” she tries to climb in my lap and Jamie slips her into his. 

“I will happily give you cuddles after William and Julia have had breakfast.” She sighs and leans against her da. 

“You are a blessed man, Jamie Fraser.” Lord John says.

“Aye, I am. “ He kisses Bree-s head before kissing me. “God has given me a wonderful wife and children. Blessed indeed.” 

As the babies finish, I slip them out. Jamie takes them, burbing then, before laying then in their downstairs cradles. Bree immediately takes their place on my lap. I wrap her up in my arms. I nuzzle her soft red curls with my nose. She giggles and Hamish joins us. 

“Momma I want cuddles too.” I smile and help him up next to his sister. Lord John is temporarily forgotten as I snuggle with my children.

Later, after we had breakfast and the children rrun off to help their cousins with morning chores, I overhear Lord John talking to Jamie.

“She is a good mum.”

“Aye. She always has been. Since Paris.”

“Paris?”

“Och, a story for another time.”

“Will you have more then?” 

“In time,” I wonder if he hears my snort,” As Claire said, ‘four under four is enough.’ Why do you ask?”

“Curious. You make beautiful children.” He takes a step closer and I tense up. But, Jamie just takes a step back.

“Thank you. How about a game of chess?” They head back towards the house


	34. Mary MacNab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire heads off to find some help with the houseful of bairns

I wake to find Jamie staring at me. I look around and smile. “Wot?”

“I just love watching my wife in the early morning quiet.” 

“Enjoy it why it last.” He grins. We have a few minutes more of peace before Bree and Hamish run in. Jamie lifts them unto the bed. They start to bounce.

“Just be quiet.” I say with a chuckle. I love to see them so happy. They faces shine in the early morning sunlight. Bree's hair glows as the sun highlights the streaks of copper and gold that runs through it. Hamish's curls around his face in a mess of dark hair that is so like Fergus'. I watch them with a full heart until one of the twins starts to fuss.

“Down ye two sae mam can feed the twins.” He lowers them down and goes to help them get dressed. I lift Julia and William to my breasts. After they are dressed he directs them to go find Auntie Jenny.

“We will be down soon.” They toddle off, hand in hand.   
After they are done with breakfast, Jamie dresses William and, I Julia. I then lay her down and dress myself. Jamie has already carried William out so, I lift up Julia.

“Let's off to find your daddy and siblings.” She gurgles happily. We walk into control chaos. Janet and Michael are crawling around. Bree, Hamish, and Kitty are running in circles around them. Poor Maggie sits trying to read. I don't see wee Jamie, big Jamie, or any male over seven. Off to do chores, I presume and escape. He must have taken William with him. Jenny walks in and looks around and then at me.

“We need some more help. Any suggestions?”

“Aye. Mary MacNab, Rabbie’s mam. She is a fine woman and could use the extra income, being a widow.”

“Perfect. I will go ask her now.” I start off, holding Julia. “Want to go for a stroll with mam?” She babbles. I take it as a yes.

“Where are ye off to?” Murtagh comes up on us right before we leave the estate proper. 

“To Mary MacNab's. I am going to ask her to come help with the children and such.”

“A grand idea. She is a capable woman and Rabbie was well raised. But, I will be coming with ye.”

“As you wish.”

)She doesn’t live very far and we are soon at her small cottage. I knock.

“Mistress, come in. Is it Rabbie?”

“No, he is doing very well. A huge help to Jamie. I came to offer you a position. As you know, Jenny and I have both been blessed with twins lately. It is a lot. Mrs. Crook is getting older. We could use your help.”

“Aye Mistress. I would be honored. “

“Thank you. Come up later and we will make arrangements.” 

“Aye Mistress.” 

We head back home and Julia starts to feel heavy in my arms. “What I wouldn’t give for a pram.”

“A pram?” Murtagh arches his bushy eyes at me.

“It is like a small cart. It carries babies in my time.”

“Oh aye,” He still looks confessed but doesn’t inquire farther. Julia starts to fuss and root around my chest. I find a seat on a fallen log. Murtagh sees what I am about and turns away. 

“You can head on now. We are okay.”

“Nae. Would ye have Jamie yell at me for leaving ye and the bairn alone.” He looks away but maintains his position. “You ken Jamie wants twelve )bairns?”

I laugh. “I know. I also know he won't get them.”

Murtagh chuckles. “We will see.”

We both her a crying baby approach. Jamie is soon, in sight with William.. “He missed his twin.”

“His milk machine, most like.” I take him and place him on my other breast. Murtagh heads off with Jamie now with us.

“Murtagh, let Jenny know that Mary agreed.”

“Aye.”

Jamie sits beside me and I lay my head on his shoulder. We both enjoy the peace and quiet.


	35. A Pram

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murtagh has a gift for the twins and Claire.

Having Mary makes a huge difference. She is a wonder. She sets up a schedule that allows the older children time for chores and schooling and gets the youngest napping at the same time.

One morning, I am standing at the window, rocking Julia in my arms. She is teething and a bit fussy. I see Murtagh pushing something up towards the house. 

“What in the world?” I mumble I carry her downstairs to see what he has.

.”Is this what ye meant Claire? About a pram?” I can see it now. The sturdy box he has placed on wheels. A handle to push it.

“It is but you shouldn’t have used wood that we may need.”

“Och. This naught. It is fine. It will work then?”

“It will.” I hand him Julia and go in to fetch a blanket and William. I lay the blanket on the bottom and place the children into their pram, side by side. They hold each other’s hands and I am filled with such love for them. Bree walks over and I say,  
“Do you want to go for a walk with me, Grandda Murtagh and the twins?’” 

She looks around for her siblings. I smile and I bring her over to the pram. She looks in and grins down at them. 

“Hi Julia and William.” They coo back at her. “Bring Hamish and da too?”

“Where are they?”

“I get.” She runs off. I start rolling the pram back and forth.

“You know Murtagh, you may become famous as the inventor of the pram.” He shrugs it off, making a Scottish noise of dismissal but, I see the grin.

Jamie comes towards us with Hamish and Bree trailing behind. “Bree says I must come see the babies in the box.” He stops before the pram. “Ingenious. You did this Murtagh?”

“Twas nothing. The lass needed something to carry them easier.”

“Would you care to walk with us?”

“Would love to.” He takes my hand. We push the babies together. Bree and Hamish walk ahead. All our children together bar Fergus who is busy in the fields with Rabbie. We are so very blessed. 

Murtagh and Jamie start speaking Ghaildhig. Bree and Hamish reply in the same. Jamie insisted on teaching them.

“I know it will be banned. But, I want them to ken it, even if they can't speak it.” He had told me. I had picked up enough to know what they are saying. I smile as I listen to them discuss the weather, the coming harvest, and the bird's cry. I think of all I would have missed, all Bree would have. We wouldn’t have Hamish, Fergus, Julia, or William. She would be an only child without a heritage. I shudder at the thought and rest my head against Jamie's neck.

We are approaching the end of Fraser land. “Jamie,” I gesture. The children have ran a bit ahead. 

“Brianna, Hamish! Turn around. Back to mam and I.” They immediately do. As we are turning, we see Redcoats a bit farther up the road.

“It isn’t harvest time.” Jamie calls to them as Murtagh stands between them and the children.

“We know. Just keeping an eye.” They turn and head away. We head back home.


	36. The Return Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years later  
> Leary, like a bad penny, returns. What will happen?

Three Years Later

As the years passed, I am more thankful everyday I broke my promise to Jamie. I stand at the window, watching my children play. Hamish is 6. Bree 5. The twins, Julia and William are 3 and a half. They have joined 10 year old Wee Jamie, 9 year old Maggie, 7 year old Kitty, and 4 year old Janet and Michael. There will soon be more to join them. I rub my 6 month pregnant belly. I believe it is twins again as I look like I am 8 or 9 months. 

I am not the only one. Jenny is pregnant also as is Mary who married Lachan a year ago. She is 4 months. We take the command to be fruitful and multiple seriously. Fergus 14 and Rabbie 13, are already checking out the local lasses. I sigh at the thought of our oldest starting his own family. 

I enter the kitchen to check on Mary who still has a bit of morning sickness. She smiles up at me and I start to speak when Bree comes running in. Her face is flushed and she is breathless.

“Mam ye must come. Hamish, he says ye must tell her ye are his mam!”

“Leary!” my mind puts it together sickly. I turn to my daughter. “Go fetch Auntie Jenny.” She runs off to do it. “Mary, please go collect the men. We may need them.” I then head out to face the bad penny that keeps turning up.

I find her holding tight to Hamish. I see red. 

“Ye are not my mam!” he is calling out. The other children, his cousins, are frozen in place. I pray they stay that way. 

“Unhand my son!” I call out as Jenny joins us. She looks up and her eyes narrow as they see my protruding belly. “Yes and there are two more between them.” As I say this, they come toddling out to join us. “Julia, William, go to wee Jamie.” I instruct. They do. 

“Hamish, go to your mam.” Jenny orders. He pulls out of her grasp and runs into my arms.

“Ye are not his mam!” She growls.

“Really! I have been his mam since you took off after Lachlan, who is happily married to Mary MacNab, by the way. I nursed him along with Bree. I got him out of clouts. Jamie taught him to ride, we taught him to read. He is our son. It isn’t the bitch who gave him birth, it is the people who are raising him and loving him."

Bree comes running up. Hamish turns to her. Jamie and the other men, including Rabbie and Hamish, arrive. Jamie glares at her. 

“Would ye lime us to handle this?” he asks me.

“No. I believe I have it. I know you have me covered.” I turn to Mary and Lachan who stand behind Jamie and Ian and in front of the older boys. “Mary, would you and Lachan take the children in?”

“Aye Mistress.” They gather them and lead them in. I then turn my full attention to Leary.

“Ye canna touch me. Ye are heavy with bairn “ she stands hands on her hip, her chin held high. I laugh, I can't help it.

“Oh child. I can do whatever I wish with you. Don’t you know that. If you think the Redcoats will help you, well, I hate to disappoint, but, we made . deal with them. They will not come on Fraser land. You only have yourself. A shame. Even after all you did, we would have given you a chance. For Hamish and the redemption of your own miserable soul. But, you abandoned him. So, now leave before you can’t”

“Ye ccanna make me.”

“Dougal thought the same up unto the time I killed him. I promise you Leary, if you do not leave our land and stay away from us and our children, I will do the same to you and will not loss a moments sleep. I will see my son protected. Now go!” I point toward the arch. She had became more pale the longer I talked. When I am done, she climbs back on her horse, and in a flood of tears, takes off. We all take a moment to catch our breaths.

“I dinna ken ye killed Dougal.” Jenny says later over a overdue breakfast.

“Well, I had help,” I nod towards Jamie,” but I did knock him out at Leoch when he got drunk and..” I don't complete it as the wide eyed children are listening. Hamish cuddled tight to my side.

“Aye. I see.” Jenny calmly replies.

“Mam?”

“Yes Hamish.”

“She willna be back, will she? I can stay with ye and da?”

“No son, she won't be back. You are our forever bairn. Same as Bree, Julia, William, Fergus, and whoever is in my belly. Nothing can change that.” He relaxes against .me and we finish breakfast


	37. How the Tale Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What becomes of the Fraser's and Murray's

A few days after we see the last of Leary, Jenny goes into Labor labor. The next day she is delivered of a son. She names him Ian, after the man who sired him.

“Tis time to name one after him.” She says as she cuddles him. 

Life is hectic, with 12 bairns from 14 to newborn running around the house. A few months later, it becomes a bit rougher. I go into labor. This labor is the hardest of all, It takes almost three days. At one point, I instruct Jenny and Jamie on how to do a c-section that I fear I will have to have. But finally, I feel the urge to push. First born is a chestnut haired daughter. She is named Quinn Grace. Quin after my Uncle Lamb. A few minutes later comes her brown haired brother, Henry Gavin. Henry for my father. 

We slowly adjust to having 7 children. I tell Jamie I am done and mean it. Three months later, Mary gives birth to a lad she names Lachy. Lachlan holds his son and cries.

“I didn’t think I would ever be a father.”

“I didn’t think I would be a mum. Now, I have 8. Five by birth. One in heaven. Two by adoption. God tends to have a sense of humor.”

“Aye.” 

“18 children in this house.” I sY to Jamie as I nurse Quinn and Henry. 18.”

“Aye. Isn't it great!” It is. Lallybroch was built for a huge family and we have it filled to the rafters. 

Time went on. The children grew. Rabbie and Fergus started their own families. Jamie built them houses on Fraser land. Bree grew to be a very independent woman. She was interested in how things work and installed running water in Lallybroch. Hamish is content to be a farmer. He works the land alongside his da. Wee Jamie becomes a barrister. Maggie becomes a healer. Kitty a mam. Michael enters politics. Wee Ian follows after Hamish and works the land.  
Julia marries at 15 and has a houseful of children of her own. William marries a local lass and takes over the running of her family’s land. Our babies, are still at home. We hold tight to Quinn and Henry. They are a huge help with Lachy and the other three bairns that Mary and Lachan have.

As for Lord John and the Redcoats, they still come for potatoes and chess games. He eventually comes to accept that friends is all we can ever be. 

Leary never shows her face again.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again callysymms and I are thankful for all who left kudos, comments, and read or little tale. We enjoyed exploring this ' what if' take on our couple.


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